“This is the fifth time this month alone, that I’ve had the pleasure of being in your company, and let me add young man that it’s getting old!” The middle-aged man rubbed his bloodshot eyes with his thumb and index finger and exhaled. Shouting was getting him nowhere with this kid. He took as steady a breath as he could and slowly let it out before continuing. “Now, I want to know,” he said leaning over the top of the steel table in the Bureau of Investigative Services interrogation room, so that he could look into the teens dark blue stormy eyes. “Who in the hell killed Mr. Romano last night?”

 The teen sat on the wobbly wooden chair as though it was made of feathers, and he wanted to slap him. The look on the boys face was the perfect picture of boredom. The kid took nothing he was saying seriously and it had once and for all put Sergeant Reynolds at his wits end. He slapped the top of the table with both hands and leaned in closer to the boy. “Who killed Mr. Ramano last night?”

He was back to shouting again.

He now called upon patience. He was getting no closer to finding the murderers now than he was two hours ago when he had the kid picked up for questioning. It was always the same damn thing whenever he had this boy brought in; they got nowhere, no matter how they threatened the kid.

 After several long quiet minutes passed, the Sergeant shook his head in disappointment and frustration, looked up at the grimy ceiling and asked the man upstairs for serenity. He went to the only window in the small dimly lit room and looked through the grime on the window and screen, between the bars and looked the ten stories down. He didn’t take notice of the people and cars, which scattered the streets, and sidewalks of busy downtown Chicago. Here it was nine AM Tuesday and his department had twenty unsolved murder cases and twice that in gang activity reports since Sunday evening. Deaths and robberies more than tripled by the day, and then add the mystery of the missing homeless kids to his already full plate and he came up with one solution. 'Retirement in Bora, Bora, with a stiff drink'.

 The gangs in Chicago at their finest.

 “Tanner Jayden O’Brien, I don’t know about you, but I damn sure don’t want to do this all day, so lets cut the small talk. Give me what I need. “ He turned now to face his ex-best friends son and walked back to the table and said, “or I’m going to have to call your brother.” He took small satisfaction when he saw the kid grimace and he actually didn’t blame him. His brother wasn’t as easy going as Tanner.

He hated to use that wild card but he needed this boys help and he needed it now. The kid’s older brother Terrance would make Tanner’s life a living hell for hiding information from the police. No matter how often he went through this with the boy, the threat of calling his older brother always worked for him in the past.

“It’s TJ. Ya' know, Sergeant Reynolds, I can’t see why we can’t get past that. I mean I’m a regular here, we’re like family.” TJ quipped.

The Sergeant looked at the grin on Tanner’s tired face and sat on the end of the table studying the kid’s features and seeing a lot of Tanner’s father, Daniel, in his looks. It brought back the painful and happy memories every time.

“As long as you’re in my presence I will address you by the name your parents gave you.” He didn’t miss the cockiness in the stormy eyes, or the smirk the boy had been wearing since he sat down two hours ago. Actually at this time, he wanted nothing more than to just slap him till the look went away; maybe a few days in juvie would help to improve the kid's attitude. “Tanner, you wouldn’t make a pimple on your daddy’s ass. If that great man was alive today to see what you’ve become, you’d break his heart.”

TJ cringed and looked away to hide the hurt in his eyes. His gaze settled at the window where he could see patches of the blue sky between the skyscrapers that lined the sky over the magnificent city. Memories of his parents rushed through his head, his dad’s eyes the same ones he himself had been blessed with or cursed with depending on the day. The way they looked when he was happy, the way they danced and sparkled when he had time to be a dad and play with his sons when they were younger. He thought of his mother's bright smile, her hugs, and her songs. Her magical voice was something he had never forgotten. He could remember the last time she sang to them, to her four sons…no, he couldn’t think about her now, he closed his eyes against the pain in his heart, willing it away shoving the memories away, shoving them back to sleep where they belonged.

“Tanner, your father was a great man. I’m proud that I was able to call him my friend. He loved you and your brothers more than life itself.” He again saw the hurt, lingering below the surface, but he had to try to do something to get this O’Brien boy turned in the right direction.

He loved all four of the O’Brien boys as if they were his own nephews. He felt it was his duty to watch out for the brothers after the terrible death of their parents. He met Daniel, the boy's father, more than twenty years ago at the Illinois State Police Training Academy and they hit if off immediately. Daniel at that time was a hot headed young kid on top of the world, nothing could stop him, he excelled at everything he did, taking to becoming a police officer then later an investigator like a fish to water, he was a natural. They were partners for seven years serving Cook County’s residents and were at the top of their department when one day out of the blue, Daniel walked away from all of it and never looked back.

Sergeant Reynolds looked back at Tanner and saw the stress and exhaustion taking its toll on him. Life hadn’t been easy for the kid or his brothers these past seven years.

Terrance, also called Torro, was the oldest O'Brien brother. At eighteen he went from being the leader of a gang one day to being his brothers' guardian the next. The horrific car accident that claimed the lives of both Daniel and his wife Faye turned the boy’s lives upside down.

The Sergeant kept himself in the background; he watched the boys grow from young boys to men almost overnight. Terrance worked fulltime at the same railroad his father worked for after he quit law enforcement and attended school working on his Masters Degree in Engineering. Ryan, who was now seventeen was a straight A student with no less than five Universities offering him sport scholarships like they were pieces of candy. Richie, who was four when the accident happened, didn’t remember his parents, but he was content and secure in this brother's supervision and care. Then there was Tanner, the third O’Brien boy with a rap sheet big enough to cover the Sears Tower. Twice.

The boys were still trying to overcome their dark past, they had their ups and down, good and bad days. As long as they had each other they would succeed and make their parents proud. If only he could get through to Tanner.

“Do you think your father would approve of what you do? Do you think your mother would be happy knowing that her son is a gang leader?” Persisted the Sergeant.

TJ whipped his head back to look at the Sergeant with his mouth open as if to say something but he chuckled instead. He shook his head in obvious anger the disbelief written all over his young face.

TJ saw the years taking its toll on his father’s best friend, his dark brown hair was now splattered with gray, his thick mustache was almost pure white and the lines around his eyes seemed to grow deeper by the minute. He wondered if his dad were still alive, if his long coal black hair would be riddled with white hair. TJ smiled to himself because he knew the answer, it would be no, his father lived by one saying. You live life by the day and whatever problems came to light you fixed it before the bright of day went away. You find a solution and let it go. When his dad died he didn’t look a day over thirty. “It doesn’t matter what he thinks, what they think, they’re dead. I do what I have to do just like you.”

“Tanner…”

The sergeant began but TJ’s narrowed eyes stopped him. All TJ wanted was one damn day of peace, he didn’t want to hear anymore about his father, especially not today, not on the anniversary of their deaths.

But the Sergeant didn’t take the warning, he continued and said, “you’re…”

And that was all TJ heard. All he wanted for this man to do was call Torro or toss his ass in juvie and end the torment because if the man said one more thing about his…

“Your father…”

“That’s it!” TJ stood so fast that the chair fell back on the floor; the sound of it bounced off the brick walls. “That’s it! For the love of God why do you keep going on and on about them? Every time you have me picked up, I’m forced to hear repeatedly how disappointed and upset they’d be with me. Can’t you see that it doesn’t matter? He’s dead! It’s doesn’t matter what he’d think or what he’d say or what he’d do because he’s dead! Just stop bringing him up!” He turned away and took a deep breath.

He had to regain control he had to focus. None of it mattered, it didn’t matter because his dad left him, he left his own son carrying the weight of the world on his back. His father, the hero Daniel O’Brien was the one responsible for who TJ was today. He was the one who made him who he was, his father was the reason that TJ felt pain, anger and hurt everyday of his life. It wasn’t enough that every time he looked into the mirror and saw him, oh no, it went beyond that. Because when he looked into the mirror he could hear his father saying to him, ‘ I’m watching you, you better hold true to your promises to me, you better do what is expected, you will do as you’re told or I’ll be right here waiting on you.’

God he missed his father, he missed them both so much it hurt, it hurt to go home and see his dad in his brothers. All of them resembled him, the same coal black hair that that hung to their shoulders in waves, their strong jaw lines, the high cheek bones, the same damn widows peak on their foreheads. They were a mirrored image of the great man who left them orphans.

TJ rubbed his temples willing the ache away, now wishing he had more than the Tequila last night at the park. He now wished he had something stronger, a lot stronger, just anything to keep the pain away. The last thing he needed was more stories about how great Daniel was, about his skills and fearlessness. What good did it do? He wasn’t that great, not if he was dead. Why would he care what his third son was doing, or any of them for that matter, if he cared he wouldn’t be dead.

Sergeant Reynolds jumped back in obvious shock at Tanner’s unexpected outburst and closely watched him. The boy had never been one to lose control, that was Terrance, but this kid here had always controlled his emotions, hell there was a time that he didn’t think Tanner had any. He was never easy to read, good, or bad times he hid his true thoughts and self inside where no one could see.

“Sergeant Reynolds, we aren’t the one’s you’re looking for,” TJ said quietly, thinking about his gang, about the Knight Defenders. The same gang Torro walked away from, the same gang that helped to protect their neighborhood the same gang that fell apart when Torro did.

It wasn’t that TJ didn’t understand his older brother’s pains. Becoming a parent had almost been too much for him at eighteen. Torro had been forced to leave the gang and when he did it allowed other gangs to move in their neighborhood and threaten the safety the gang offered. The robberies, the unsolved murders, the rapes, they all stopped since TJ gained control over the Knights. He took them and trained them as he had been trained. The Knights now kept their community safe just as they had when Torro ran them.

“You and your boys were reported as being at Romano’s Market last night.”

TJ knew what Reynolds was doing; he was trying to trip him up, lying on purpose to get him to say something he could be killed for. It wasn’t that he was afraid to die, he didn’t live his life in fear, -- hell there was no room for it. But he had the Knights to take care of, all thirty of them and he would do all he could to keep them alive.

That the Knights had been at the park all night didn’t matter to Reynolds, he knew where they were, but they were all clueless on who killed that man and he wanted TJ to make it easy on the taxpayers money and tell him.

The boys in his gang came second in his life, after his brothers, their lives meant more to him than his own, and it wasn’t as if they couldn’t take care of themselves, they could, but they were his boys. His responsibility and he took that seriously.

TJ remembered back to the time that he along with his best friend’s Benny, Phil, and Pete, stepped up and fought the other gangs out of their hood. It took a few weeks but they did it, they had each been shot a few times, beat up, but they survived. It took a couple months to build their membership to what it was and had been for the last two years.

The Knights consisted of boys from various backgrounds and none were judged for what they were, only for what they did. These boys held a deep devotion to each other, they were family, and they took it in their own hands to protect their hood. These boys for the most part came from abusive homes, and TJ along with Benny took time and showed them that they each had the power to control their minds, no matter the pain the body felt, the power to change their lot in life, it was the mind that mattered, for their abusers couldn’t touch that part. They each had the power to change the cycle, and change it they would.

Devotion, honesty, integrity, and respect were qualities that TJ taught these forgotten kids, honor was what the boys stood for. Would he die for them? Yes, without question. As they would for him.

He only wished his own brother would live by those same rules. Hell TJ wished all of the boy’s families did. Then that way the boys would know what a true family was, and what love of blood meant. He, at least had that at one time, he knew what it tasted like, most of his boys didn’t and he’d be damned if he let this son of a bitch Sergeant toss them to the wolves on the streets because he was too stupid to find the killers on his own.

The Sergeant, now standing on the opposite side of the room was holding an unlit cigarette in his hand studying the kids face, wishing life could be easier on him. “Tanner, enough of this shit, why don’t you stop wasting my time here? I’ve got a shit load of cases that need my attention today. Tell me who left Mrs. Romano a widow and lets both get on with our busy day.”

For the first time in two hours TJ looked amused. “Wasting time? I would say you’re the one wasting your time. You’re the one who had me picked up on my way to work, you’re the one telling me to tell you that we did something we didn’t do and you’re the one who keeps asking me over and over who did it even after I told you I had no idea. As far as I can see, you have wasted approximately two hours of YOUR time, as well as mine.

"You know as well as I do that we were no where near that store, you know we were at the park all night, so why can’t you just right out and ask me for my help because your whole department is clueless.”

Sergeant Reynolds knew the Knights had nothing to do with the murder it wasn’t their forte, but this kid knew who did it, and he knew Tanner would never share that with him, but he was determined and he would get what he wanted from the kid no matter what he had to do.

“I think it’s only fair that I get to ask a question of my own.”

“What’s your question?”

“Are you charging me with anything? Because if you are I need that phone call to my lawyer made now, if you’re not, I have nothing more to say. I’m late for work and I need to get going.”

The Sergeant picked the chair up and motioned for TJ to sit in it. The kid did hesitate but followed the order. “You know, I could have your whole gang picked up and charged with underage drinking, illegal drug usage and curfew, shall I go on?”

TJ rolled his eyes in frustration he bit at his lower lip in thought and smiled. “You have a car assigned to us out there, you watch our every move, you know where we were and what we were doing and how long we were out there. If you wanted us that bad we would have been picked up last night. As it stands now, Sergeant, it’s your mans word against ours and I hate to point out the obvious here, but that’s thirty-three to one.” TJ’s eyes narrowed and he grinned because he saw the mans eyes hit with the realization that TJ was right, that he couldn’t hold him there any longer, there would be no charges and the department wasn’t’ any closer to finding the guys who did kill the guy. “It’s him against us, you a bettin’ kind a man? Cause I’d be willing to bet that even in the courts of law we’d be proven innocent. Am I right?”

The sergeant made his way to stand behind TJ and leaned over him to whisper in his ear, “give me a name, or so help me God, kid, I’ll make your life a living hell. Your boys will be picked up and fucked with every time they leave their houses. I’ll charge them with spitting on the sidewalk, I’ll make sure I’m in your nightmares, do I make myself clear?”

“Tax payers dollars at work huh, serge?”

“Shall I call Torro?”

TJ groaned and laid his head on his arms across the top of the table. Of all people he had to deal with on a daily basis, Torro was the one he could do without. Things went to hell when their parents died with Torro. There was no making Torro happy no matter what TJ did anymore. It got to the point that he stopped trying because he didn’t care anymore what Torro did to him or what he thought of him. His brother saw what he wanted and ignored every thing else. Torro meant one thing to TJ, and that was pain.

“Give me a name, make this easy on yourself, kid, and we’ll keep this between us.”

TJ looked straight ahead at the two-way mirror and saw the grim determination on the Sergeants face. He also saw how tired he himself was, more hung over actually; it was only fitting that he should look how he felt. Maybe this weekend he would take Richie with him and they’d get their hair trimmed.

“You’re leaving me no choice here I’m gonna have to call him.”

“I don’t know who did it, do what you will,” TJ said looking back at the window.

He spotted the Sears Tower and a small smile escaped his full pink heart shaped lips at the memory that came rushing back to him. He was eight and his mother took a day trip with him to the Sears Tower. They rode the EL all the way downtown, walked to the Tower and rode the elevator to the top. She held his small hand in hers the whole time, promising him that it was safe and they’d be okay. She sang to him the whole way. According to his father singing was the way she dealt with her fears. But TJ wasn’t afraid, he’d never been afraid, he knew though that she was and he felt like he was her protector that day. When they made it to the observation deck on the 103^rd floor to peer over the glorious city, they were speechless. They stared at everything, but his favorite was Lake Michigan. For miles and miles all he could see was water, the edge of the earth. He wanted to stay there forever, but she insisted that two hours was enough. They made their way to Maxwell Street and had a big greasy hamburger with fries, grilled onions, and a pop. It was the last time he’d been with her alone.

TJ swallowed the lump in his throat he got whenever he thought of her and focused instead on the blue sky.

The Sergeant had hoped that threatening this kid with Torro would have worked but the resistance he was being met with told him the conversation was at an end. He knew what Torro was like, he knew how strict he was, and he really hated to involve him but he needed Tanners help.

TJ’s pulse quickened when he heard the Sergeant talking to his brother. It wasn’t bad enough that today was the anniversary of his parent’s death, today Torro had finals, and he told them last night that the only reason he should be disturbed was if one of them was dead. He rubbed his forehead against the oncoming migraine. Reynolds opened another can of worms and Torro’s fury would yet again be directed at him, just another excuse for him to bring TJ down. He wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans and unconsciously rubbed at the grease spots on the knees.

“This isn’t right, you know it isn’t. You know what he’s like, he’s gonna kick my ass over this and we had nothing to do with it.” TJ was willing to face his brother’s wrath but he couldn’t handle being forced to give information that would get his boys and possibly himself killed. Life in the real world was forgotten to Torro and the cops. The minute someone opened their mouth they were dead and Torro knew this, but he didn’t care, he didn’t care what the rules were or about TJ.

“Who in the hell are you trying to protect?”         

TJ could only shake his head. My boys, my life, but the Sergeant wouldn’t understand.

“Give me what I want and I’ll call him back.”

“You really don’t give a damn about what will happen to us out there do you? Just mark it as another unsolved murder. I don’t know who did it. If I hear anything I’ll let you know.”

“Not good enough. I want names today.”

TJ looked at him, willing him to let it go. To let him go. “I don’t have them.”

Sergeant Reynolds walked to the door and opened it. “Then suffer the consequences, there isn’t anything I can do for you.” He let himself out and shut the door behind him.

“Uhh fuck.” TJ looked at the ceiling in exasperation, he knew it was no use, either way he was screwed, be it by Torro or the assholes that did do it. At this point he’d rather take Torro on, at least his boys and brothers would be safe. The group that did it couldn’t be stopped. He wasn’t afraid of them, neither were his boys, he trained them to protect themselves out there, but dammit, this wasn’t their doings.

The shit would never end.

His brother’s would be fine; the one thing they knew since they were in diapers was how to fight, all of them. Ever since TJ could remember other kids would try their best to bring an O’Brien boy down, trying to prove themselves. That in itself was no easy feat, Torro was massive at six four, the scale at the gym shouted out that he weighed 245 pounds a week ago, and he knew how to throw his weight around. He hadn’t met too many people willing to fight him, hell, TJ always had to laugh when whom ever issued a challenge to the brothers would change their minds almost at the start. Ryan was the lankiest of the four standing at six foot, but even so the four of them together were intimidating, even Richie the smallest one standing at five nine often ended up in more fights than the others because of his size alone.

What really sucked more than anything-- was Torro’s punch and he sure knew how to put his weight behind each powerful thrust often times leaving the person on the other end too dazed to strike back. 

TJ knew that pain first hand and it wasn't as if he did things to deserve it, his whole life was consumed with work, his boys, his brothers, and long time girlfriend Nicole, that’s it. And no matter how hard he tried to keep under the radar it wasn’t enough, Torro always found a reason to make him see the errors of his ways.

TJ shook his head to clear it of what was to come and licked his dry lips wishing for a cigarette. "Damn, damn, damn!" he said looked up at the popcorn ceiling. He found out before leaving for work this morning that he had a year left before he would be forced into becoming someone he knew in his heart he wasn’t. Not anymore, not after he found out what was waiting for him when that year was up.

***

“TJ, it’s time to go.”

Even before anything was said, TJ knew Torro was standing in the doorway. Shit. Shit, shit, he didn’t want to deal with Torro today, or any day at any point, his fucking temper knew no bounds. What TJ wanted right now more than anything was a good knuckle to knuckle fight, maybe that would help him get his frustrations out. The last time he felt this way he almost killed that dumbass kid on Cicero.

One second he and fifteen of his boys were trying to work territory out with their leader, Paul, and the next a gun was in his face. He remembered the gun and then nothing because he tried to kill the bastard and only stopped when Benny pulled him off the unconscious kid.

“Did you hear me? Let’s go.”

His voice never raised but TJ heard the anger-- he always ever heard the anger. He slowly nodded his head and looked to see Torro’s blue eyes peering at him. He always felt as if he was looking into the deep blue sky during a storm. With hesitation he stood up and backed away from the table. He walked towards the door, towards his brother, and as he did, he saw what he always did before the strike. He saw the evil in Torro's eyes and he knew there would be no getting out of this one without feeling it for days afterwards.

The first strike came at him almost immediately with Torro shoving him up against the wall by his throat, holding him there with one hand. With the other he slapped him across the side of his head.

TJ winced through the pain, not saying a word, it never did any good, and it always made things worse for him.

“Who did it? Don’t start feeding me the same cock and bull story you fed Reynolds. I want to know who killed that old man.” Torro squeezed tighter causing TJ to cough against the pressure on his Adams apple. He tried swallowing, tried moving his head to the side to loosen the grip, he tried prying Torro’s hand away, but it was no use.

Torro was in the mode.

“Who!”

“I don’t know,” TJ whispered, his heart was racing, the adrenaline charging through his system like an out of control freight train as Torro’s hand grew around his neck tighter.

“I said no bullshit! We will not leave here until I get what I want. Do you hear me?” Torro yelled glaring into TJ’s unmoving eyes.

TJ struggled to draw much needed air into his lungs, the air his brother denied him and the panic set in. He broke out in a cold sweat his head began swimming in a hazy fog then his stomach felt as if it spun itself around a few times. Time seemed to pass by too slow then. He kept his eyes glued to his brothers looking for an ounce of concern but was met with nothing but hate.

He no longer had the strength in his arms to pry his brother’s hand from his neck. His eyes began to get heavy and all TJ could think about was dying on the same day his parents did. Just as his world began to go dark he was on his knees gasping for air and coughing at the same time.

“I told you last night that I had finals today, do you remember that?”

TJ’s throat burned with each breath he drew in, his lungs ached from the deep coughing, all he could do was look up at his brother and nod his head.

“Then what the fuck am I doing here? You had a chance to come clean with him, yet your stubborn pride once again took over. Don’t think for one second that I’m letting you off. You will pay dearly for this. Now, I’m going to give you two options. Tell me who did it right now and I won’t kick your ass, or you keep your stubborn mouth shut and I’ll have each and every one of your boys picked up and then I'll kick your ass. You have two minutes.”

TJ slowly got to his feet, never taking his eyes from his brother. He didn’t trust Torro. His heart started thumping harder making him sweat more. He started to breathe deeper and faster making his head light all over again.

The memories of the last time Torro beat him came rushing back. God he was relentless, he wouldn’t stop till TJ was knocked out. When he finally came to he had two broken ribs, an open cut on his arm and black and blue marks that still hadn’t gone away. But he would heal, he always did.

TJ dropped his chin to his chest, trying to calm his breathing down. He closed his eyes and swallowed deeply. “I have nothing to say.”

Torro shook his head, kicked the chair out of his way, and backed TJ into the corner without ever touching him.

Before TJ could take a breath to steady himself for the impending attack, he was leaning over once again holding onto his stomach after Torro’s powerful jab that shot sharp binding pains straight through to his back. He fought to hold onto the light he refused to go down. He looked up at his brother through the long strands of hair that fell over his face and only then realized that it wasn’t his brother he was looking at anymore, it was a stranger who used to be his brother.

“Get over it,” Torro growled above him. “I have things I have to do and I sure as hell don’t have time to waste playing games with you. I asked you a question, answer it now!

TJ lowered his head, hiding behind his hair. “I don’t have the answer. Just do what you have to. I don’t care anymore.”

“So you want to see your boys in juvie? Is that what you want?”

TJ stood up, brushed his hair back with his long fingers, and took as deep of a breath as he could. “Does it matter?”

“This is shit, Tanner, give him what the hell he wants. Don’t make this something it doesn’t have to be. You need to think about what you’re doing-- about the attention you’ll be calling to us. Do you wanna see our brothers in foster care?”

Oh just fucking great, another wild card in the deck, TJ thought. First it was Torro by the Sergeant now it was his brothers by Torro. It just never ended. “No. Dammit, Torro, you know I could get killed over this. Please don’t ask me to do this, not if you care about me, don’t ask me to do this.” He looked hard into Torro’s cold eyes, he needed him to understand and to remember what would happen, what did happen to narks on the city streets. “They’ll get caught, give it time.” He silently pleased with him to ease him down, to trust things would work out but he was met with that wall of anger yet again. He knew there would be hell to pay; it was too late to avoid it. Dammit to hell, why in the hell didn’t they leave him alone and let him live.

“Tell me! Or I swear to all that’s holy you will pay.”

Again TJ felt his heart pounding at the promise, because he knew Torro would indeed do that. His pulse raced because of his promise to his father, he promised he'd never ever, no matter what happened, raise his hand to his brothers. His pulse raced because Torro was the only person in his life that he feared and he hated that fear. It wasn’t that he wasn’t capable of taking care of himself out there; he was clever and quick, he knew when to act and react.

He avoided death more times than he could count.

The reason his pulse raced was because he knew Torro was going to kill him and it would be soon. Oddly enough Torro helped TJ become who he was today. It was the time Torro spent working one on one with him. He spent hours teaching him strategy, moves, and the skills he would need to help keep him alive on the streets. At one time he admired Torro, he wanted to be like him and he worked hard over the years trying to gain his approval, but he never got it, no matter what he did.

No, death didn’t scare him. Torro did and leaving his boys, his brothers and Nicole behind did.

“I have tried to work with you, Tor, in all that you ask and demand from me, but I can’t do this.” He paused and took a shallow breath. “Would you have?”

Torro knew he was referring back to the time that he ran this same path. Deep down he knew TJ and what he and his boys stood for, but he had orders, he had a job to do. Time has a way of changing people when they least expect it and because of his responsibilities to his brothers, his job, and everything else, he was forced to change. It was because of his past that his brother was in danger, between the two of them they had a good number of enemies, and he waited everyday of his life for the call to come in telling him that his little brother was dead.

He knew what the boys meant to TJ, how much they respected him, but in the end, would it matter?

“I’ll take what I have coming. I can’t tell you what you want.”

Torro swore under his breath and glared at his little brother. “One day your stubbornness will get you hurt.”

“Or it will save someone’s life. We’ll have to wait and see,” TJ stated.

The door to the room opened and the Sergeant walked in with a lit cigarette between his lips. He eyed the brothers upon feeling the tension between them. “Is everything okay in here? Did you remember anything, Tanner?”

TJ shook his head never taking his eyes off his brother.

“Do you think if I had your boys picked up and thrown into juvie for a few weeks would help you remember?”

TJ spun around his dark eyes wild with anger and looked at the both of them. Backing into a corner and blowing his brains out had to be easier than this hell he lived in. “On what charges? You can’t lock them up to get me to talk.”

“Wanna bet?” Reynolds challenged with a smile.

Shit! Son of bitch, TJ swore under his breath. “I don’t know who killed him, neither do the boys.” He again brushed the hair out of his face the whole time biting down on his tongue, on the anger.

 “Fine, you wanna play, we’ll play. I’ll have each and every one of them picked up today. When you give me what I want, Tanner, I’ll consider letting them go. You,” he said pointing his index finger at him, “You I’m gonna keep.”

TJ nodded his head-- maybe it would be for the best. At least if he was in juvie Torro couldn’t kill him.

 “TJ, tell him what you know. Now!” Torro yelled looking at him with fury in his eyes.

TJ could almost feel the anger in the air now; it was just about thick enough to cut with a knife. “I can’t.”

“Don’t do this, just answer the question, and keep your boys safe,” Torro said walking up to him.

TJ saw Torro’s expression. His eyes wide and unwavering. The vein on the side of his neck seemed to take on a life of its own now. It was thumping as hard as his was. Shock, and anger described Torro to a tee. “If you make me do this, either way it won’t matter because in juvie or on the streets, even at home they won’t be safe and neither will I. Is that what you want?”

“I want an answer.”

“I can’t. Hell, I won’t. I’m not a cop its their job let them do it.”

Torro walked up to him, slowly backing him against the window where he put his hands on each side of the wall blocking TJ there. He fought hard not to strike him. It would wait. In his fury he didn’t notice TJ flinch when he hit the side of the wall near his head, he only saw the defiance. “Your call, Tanner. Sergeant, go ahead and have them picked up.”

TJ looked back into Torro’s eyes, he refused to look away, not with him so close. Looking away meant disrespect to his brother and that led to more pain. He was in enough already. “They don’t know anything more than I do, we were all together. You’re locking us up for nothing.”

“Maybe you’ll learn something,” Torro growled before he turned away.

“I will keep each and everyone of you until I get what I want.”

TJ looked at Sergeant Reynolds. “On what grounds?”

“I don’t need grounds! I need answers. The ball’s in your court, kid, which is it gonna be? Juvie or information?”

TJ didn’t hide the disgust he felt. Nothing like throwing them in a cage with hungry lions is there? “Juvie.”

The regret in his voice was deep, but the disappointment in his eyes would be something Torro would never forget.

“Juvie it is.”

TJ nodded his head in acceptance and understanding, not that he understood it or agreed, but what else could he do? He went back to the table and sat down on the wooden chair. He tipped it back on its rear legs and rocked it back and forth in frustration. His mind was rolling full speed ahead wondering if he did the right thing. He had to believe he was. His dad taught him that you had to believe in yourself and your decisions because if you didn’t no one else would.

“You better think hard about what your saying here,” Torro warned.

TJ wouldn’t look at him, he kept his head down he was being beaten in a completely new way. “I have. You know I don’t have a choice,” he said softly.

“Yes you do,” the Sergeant said from the doorway. “Tell us who did it and the boys will be fine, no one will know.”

TJ got to his feet and walked back to the window, he looked down at the cars racing to their destinations, the people running across the street, everyone had somewhere to be. “They won’t be if I say anything.” He turned to look at him. “Go ahead, do what you have to and I’ll do what I have to.”

Sergeant Reynolds nodded his head, looked for a split second at Torro, and opened the door. “It’s not too late, Tanner, we can still work this out.”

But it is, TJ thought. It was too late the minute Torro was called. He grew up with him, he knew Torro's anger, and he knew the pain he'd be in once Torro had him alone.

He was too scared to go home. Who in the hell would take care of everyone if Torro killed him today? He looked up at the light blue cloudless sky over the lake wishing he could go back to the time he and his family took trips to spend the day on North Avenue Beach together. That was a lifetime ago before he understood what hate was, before he understood fear. Now, no one scared him the way Torro did. “I’m afraid it is,” he said as if in a trance.

“Terrance, I’m sorry, he’s left me no choice. I’ll have to take him from here. We’ll get him processed and into juvie within the next three hours and until we determine who is responsible for that death he and his boys will stay there.”

Torro punched the wall beside TJ causing the kid to slip closer into the windowpane. Even with his back to Torro he felt the aggression.

“Don’t do this! Think of our brothers; think of what it will do to them! Just tell him for God’s sake.”

TJ refused to turn to him, if he was going to unleash his anger on him here; at least he’d be near a hospital.

“I can’t believe you’re willing to go to juvie over this. You’re putting the spotlight on us with the child protective agency. Do you realize that they’ll send a social worker in on us and question my ability to take care of you and our brothers?”

TJ bowed his head because what could he say to that? Torro was making him choose between his brother and the boys, but Torro was right, he was putting his brothers in the spotlight and the last thing he wanted was for them to suffer because of him. The damn worthless cops, the guys responsible for this were right in front of their noses and they were a hell of a lot bigger then they knew.

“Torro, who’s gonna take care of the boys out there? You want me to talk; you want to know who did it? Fine,” he said turning around looking at him now. “I’ll tell you if just to keep my brothers safe, but, Tor, this is bigger than anyone knows, and if anything happens to my boys over this, I’ll never forgive you, because, bro, this isn’t our business. You of all people know the rules out there, this is the one we never break but you’re leaving me no choice, you’re putting my brothers in this and they don’t belong in it.”

He turned away and walked back to the table to sit on top of it, his long legs extended to the front of him crossed at the ankles. He rubbed the back of his neck and licked his dry pink lips. “The Spiders. But they were ordered to do it. I don’t know who ordered it, but I do know that if they didn’t do it, then someone unknown was going to be gunned down, someone Adam cares about. I don’t know who. I swear.”

The Spiders was a gang led by his former friend Adam Whitman. TJ, Ryan, and Benny grew up with most of the older members in the gang, had been close friends for many years. When Adam turned twelve his parents and older brother were killed in a drug bust leaving Adam alone. He had been sent away to live with a relative out of the city for several years and when he returned he was a changed person. He wasn’t the same friend TJ nor Ryan remembered, something had happened to him, something he hid. Adam came back to Chicago with nothing but hate in his heart.

When Adam returned he formed the Spiders, and he arranged to meet with TJ and Ryan, he wanted them to co-lead the gang. Where Ryan flat out refused, TJ shocked them all by accepting. TJ remembered the beating Torro gave him that day like it happened the day before. It was so bad that he was in bed for a month trying to get over the physical pain. It was then that Torro forbid him from associating with Adam and anyone connected to him. He even went as far a spying on TJ to be sure he didn’t, and the one time he did he paid dearly.

Adam called TJ one afternoon, he was upset and wanted to talk so TJ agreed to meet him at the railroad tracks. When Torro found him twenty minutes later he beat TJ till he was bloody and unconscious. Adam had been the one to get him home that night and because of what had happened that day he avoided talking to TJ and Ryan so Torro wouldn't beat them. He stayed away from them until TJ took the Knights over, then he wanted TJ to join the gangs as one, and he was refused.

TJ let him know that his boys didn’t stand for the same things the Spiders did, they were on a different path. Adam wasn’t happy with the rejection and because of that things would never be settled for the two gangs, they became enemies and harassment followed.

“I’ll get a unit on it right away. Tanner, you could have saved us both all this wasted time if you would have just told me this almost three hours ago.”

TJ glared at Reynolds and shook his head.

“Well, you’re free to go, have a good day.”

After the Sergeant left the room TJ grabbed the chair and threw it against the wall where it shattered in several pieces. “Are you happy now?” he shouted with hate to his brother who stood at the window looking at him with anger and disappointment all over his face

Chapter 1                  Behind Blue Eyes ™

“This is the fifth time this month alone, that I’ve had the pleasure of being in your company, and let me add young man that it’s getting old!” The middle-aged man rubbed his bloodshot eyes with his thumb and index finger and exhaled. Shouting was getting him nowhere with this kid. He took as steady a breath as he could and slowly let it out before continuing. “Now, I want to know,” he said leaning over the top of the steel table in the Bureau of Investigative Services interrogation room, so that he could look into the teens dark blue stormy eyes. “Who in the hell killed Mr. Romano last night?”

 The teen sat on the wobbly wooden chair as though it was made of feathers, and he wanted to slap him. The look on the boys face was the perfect picture of boredom. The kid took nothing he was saying seriously and it had once and for all put Sergeant Reynolds at his wits end. He slapped the top of the table with both hands and leaned in closer to the boy. “ Who killed Mr. Ramano last night?”

He was back to shouting again.

He now called upon patience. He was getting no closer to finding the murderers now than he was two hours ago when he had the kid picked up for questioning. It was always the same damn thing whenever he had this boy brought in; they got nowhere, no matter how they threatened the kid.

 After several long quiet minutes passed, the Sergeant shook his head in disappointment and frustration, looked up at the grimy ceiling and asked the man upstairs for serenity. He went to the only window in the small dimly lit room and looked through the grime on the window and screen, between the bars and looked the ten stories down. He didn’t take notice of the people and cars, which scattered the streets, and sidewalks of busy downtown Chicago. Here it was nine AM Tuesday and his department had twenty unsolved murder cases and twice that in gang activity reports since Sunday evening. Deaths and robberies more than tripled by the day, and then add the mystery of the missing homeless kids to his already full plate and he came up with one solution. 'Retirement in Bora, Bora, with a stiff drink'.

 The gangs in Chicago at their finest.

 “Tanner Jayden O’Brien, I don’t know about you, but I damn sure don’t want to do this all day, so lets cut the small talk. Give me what I need. “ He turned now to face his ex-best friends son and walked back to the table and said, “or I’m going to have to call your brother.” He took small satisfaction when he saw the kid grimace and he actually didn’t blame him. His brother wasn’t as easy going as Tanner.

He hated to use that wild card but he needed this boys help and he needed it now. The kid’s older brother Terrance would make Tanner’s life a living hell for hiding information from the police. No matter how often he went through this with the boy, the threat of calling his older brother always worked for him in the past.

“It’s TJ. Ya' know, Sergeant Reynolds, I can’t see why we can’t get past that. I mean I’m a regular here, we’re like family.” TJ quipped.

The Sergeant looked at the grin on Tanner’s tired face and sat on the end of the table studying the kid’s features and seeing a lot of Tanner’s father, Daniel, in his looks. It brought back the painful and happy memories every time.

“As long as you’re in my presence I will address you by the name your parents gave you.” He didn’t miss the cockiness in the stormy eyes, or the smirk the boy had been wearing since he sat down two hours ago. Actually at this time, he wanted nothing more than to just slap him till the look went away; maybe a few days in juvie would help to improve the kid's attitude. “Tanner, you wouldn’t make a pimple on your daddy’s ass. If that great man was alive today to see what you’ve become, you’d break his heart.”

TJ cringed and looked away to hide the hurt in his eyes. His gaze settled at the window where he could see patches of the blue sky between the skyscrapers that lined the sky over the magnificent city. Memories of his parents rushed through his head, his dad’s eyes the same ones he himself had been blessed with or cursed with depending on the day. The way they looked when he was happy, the way they danced and sparkled when he had time to be a dad and play with his sons when they were younger. He thought of his mother's bright smile, her hugs, and her songs. Her magical voice was something he had never forgotten. He could remember the last time she sang to them, to her four sons…no, he couldn’t think about her now, he closed his eyes against the pain in his heart, willing it away shoving the memories away, shoving them back to sleep where they belonged.

“Tanner, your father was a great man. I’m proud that I was able to call him my friend. He loved you and your brothers more than life itself.” He again saw the hurt, lingering below the surface, but he had to try to do something to get this O’Brien boy turned in the right direction.

He loved all four of the O’Brien boys as if they were his own nephews. He felt it was his duty to watch out for the brothers after the terrible death of their parents. He met Daniel, the boy's father, more than twenty years ago at the Illinois State Police Training Academy and they hit if off immediately. Daniel at that time was a hot headed young kid on top of the world, nothing could stop him, he excelled at everything he did, taking to becoming a police officer then later an investigator like a fish to water, he was a natural. They were partners for seven years serving Cook County’s residents and were at the top of their department when one day out of the blue, Daniel walked away from all of it and never looked back.

Sergeant Reynolds looked back at Tanner and saw the stress and exhaustion taking its toll on him. Life hadn’t been easy for the kid or his brothers these past seven years.

Terrance, also called Torro, was the oldest O'Brien brother. At eighteen he went from being the leader of a gang one day to being his brothers' guardian the next. The horrific car accident that claimed the lives of both Daniel and his wife Faye turned the boy’s lives upside down.

The Sergeant kept himself in the background; he watched the boys grow from young boys to men almost overnight. Terrance worked fulltime at the same railroad his father worked for after he quit law enforcement and attended school working on his Masters Degree in Engineering. Ryan, who was now seventeen was a straight A student with no less than five Universities offering him sport scholarships like they were pieces of candy. Richie, who was four when the accident happened, didn’t remember his parents, but he was content and secure in this brother's supervision and care. Then there was Tanner, the third O’Brien boy with a rap sheet big enough to cover the Sears Tower. Twice.

The boys were still trying to overcome their dark past, they had their ups and down, good and bad days. As long as they had each other they would succeed and make their parents proud. If only he could get through to Tanner.

“Do you think your father would approve of what you do? Do you think your mother would be happy knowing that her son is a gang leader?” Persisted the Sergeant.

TJ whipped his head back to look at the Sergeant with his mouth open as if to say something but he chuckled instead. He shook his head in obvious anger the disbelief written all over his young face.

TJ saw the years taking its toll on his father’s best friend, his dark brown hair was now splattered with gray, his thick mustache was almost pure white and the lines around his eyes seemed to grow deeper by the minute. He wondered if his dad were still alive, if his long coal black hair would be riddled with white hair. TJ smiled to himself because he knew the answer, it would be no, his father lived by one saying. You live life by the day and whatever problems came to light you fixed it before the bright of day went away. You find a solution and let it go. When his dad died he didn’t look a day over thirty. “It doesn’t matter what he thinks, what they think, they’re dead. I do what I have to do just like you.”

“Tanner…”

The sergeant began but TJ’s narrowed eyes stopped him. All TJ wanted was one damn day of peace, he didn’t want to hear anymore about his father, especially not today, not on the anniversary of their deaths.

But the Sergeant didn’t take the warning, he continued and said, “you’re…”

And that was all TJ heard. All he wanted for this man to do was call Torro or toss his ass in juvie and end the torment because if the man said one more thing about his…

“Your father…”

“That’s it!” TJ stood so fast that the chair fell back on the floor; the sound of it bounced off the brick walls. “That’s it! For the love of God why do you keep going on and on about them? Every time you have me picked up, I’m forced to hear repeatedly how disappointed and upset they’d be with me. Can’t you see that it doesn’t matter? He’s dead! It’s doesn’t matter what he’d think or what he’d say or what he’d do because he’s dead! Just stop bringing him up!” He turned away and took a deep breath.

He had to regain control he had to focus. None of it mattered, it didn’t matter because his dad left him, he left his own son carrying the weight of the world on his back. His father, the hero Daniel O’Brien was the one responsible for who TJ was today. He was the one who made him who he was, his father was the reason that TJ felt pain, anger and hurt everyday of his life. It wasn’t enough that every time he looked into the mirror and saw him, oh no, it went beyond that. Because when he looked into the mirror he could hear his father saying to him, ‘ I’m watching you, you better hold true to your promises to me, you better do what is expected, you will do as you’re told or I’ll be right here waiting on you.’

God he missed his father, he missed them both so much it hurt, it hurt to go home and see his dad in his brothers. All of them resembled him, the same coal black hair that that hung to their shoulders in waves, their strong jaw lines, the high cheek bones, the same damn widows peak on their foreheads. They were a mirrored image of the great man who left them orphans.

TJ rubbed his temples willing the ache away, now wishing he had more than the Tequila last night at the park. He now wished he had something stronger, a lot stronger, just anything to keep the pain away. The last thing he needed was more stories about how great Daniel was, about his skills and fearlessness. What good did it do? He wasn’t that great, not if he was dead. Why would he care what his third son was doing, or any of them for that matter, if he cared he wouldn’t be dead.

Sergeant Reynolds jumped back in obvious shock at Tanner’s unexpected outburst and closely watched him. The boy had never been one to lose control, that was Terrance, but this kid here had always controlled his emotions, hell there was a time that he didn’t think Tanner had any. He was never easy to read, good, or bad times he hid his true thoughts and self inside where no one could see.

“Sergeant Reynolds, we aren’t the one’s you’re looking for,” TJ said quietly, thinking about his gang, about the Knight Defenders. The same gang Torro walked away from, the same gang that helped to protect their neighborhood the same gang that fell apart when Torro did.

It wasn’t that TJ didn’t understand his older brother’s pains. Becoming a parent had almost been too much for him at eighteen. Torro had been forced to leave the gang and when he did it allowed other gangs to move in their neighborhood and threaten the safety the gang offered. The robberies, the unsolved murders, the rapes, they all stopped since TJ gained control over the Knights. He took them and trained them as he had been trained. The Knights now kept their community safe just as they had when Torro ran them.

“You and your boys were reported as being at Romano’s Market last night.”

TJ knew what Reynolds was doing; he was trying to trip him up, lying on purpose to get him to say something he could be killed for. It wasn’t that he was afraid to die, he didn’t live his life in fear, -- hell there was no room for it. But he had the Knights to take care of, all thirty of them and he would do all he could to keep them alive.

That the Knights had been at the park all night didn’t matter to Reynolds, he knew where they were, but they were all clueless on who killed that man and he wanted TJ to make it easy on the taxpayers money and tell him.

The boys in his gang came second in his life, after his brothers, their lives meant more to him than his own, and it wasn’t as if they couldn’t take care of themselves, they could, but they were his boys. His responsibility and he took that seriously.

TJ remembered back to the time that he along with his best friend’s Benny, Phil, and Pete, stepped up and fought the other gangs out of their hood. It took a few weeks but they did it, they had each been shot a few times, beat up, but they survived. It took a couple months to build their membership to what it was and had been for the last two years.

The Knights consisted of boys from various backgrounds and none were judged for what they were, only for what they did. These boys held a deep devotion to each other, they were family, and they took it in their own hands to protect their hood. These boys for the most part came from abusive homes, and TJ along with Benny took time and showed them that they each had the power to control their minds, no matter the pain the body felt, the power to change their lot in life, it was the mind that mattered, for their abusers couldn’t touch that part. They each had the power to change the cycle, and change it they would.

Devotion, honesty, integrity, and respect were qualities that TJ taught these forgotten kids, honor was what the boys stood for. Would he die for them? Yes, without question. As they would for him.

He only wished his own brother would live by those same rules. Hell TJ wished all of the boy’s families did. Then that way the boys would know what a true family was, and what love of blood meant. He, at least had that at one time, he knew what it tasted like, most of his boys didn’t and he’d be damned if he let this son of a bitch Sergeant toss them to the wolves on the streets because he was too stupid to find the killers on his own.

The Sergeant, now standing on the opposite side of the room was holding an unlit cigarette in his hand studying the kids face, wishing life could be easier on him. “Tanner, enough of this shit, why don’t you stop wasting my time here? I’ve got a shit load of cases that need my attention today. Tell me who left Mrs. Romano a widow and lets both get on with our busy day.”

For the first time in two hours TJ looked amused. “Wasting time? I would say you’re the one wasting your time. You’re the one who had me picked up on my way to work, you’re the one telling me to tell you that we did something we didn’t do and you’re the one who keeps asking me over and over who did it even after I told you I had no idea. As far as I can see, you have wasted approximately two hours of YOUR time, as well as mine.

"You know as well as I do that we were no where near that store, you know we were at the park all night, so why can’t you just right out and ask me for my help because your whole department is clueless.”

Sergeant Reynolds knew the Knights had nothing to do with the murder it wasn’t their forte, but this kid knew who did it, and he knew Tanner would never share that with him, but he was determined and he would get what he wanted from the kid no matter what he had to do.

“I think it’s only fair that I get to ask a question of my own.”

“What’s your question?”

“Are you charging me with anything? Because if you are I need that phone call to my lawyer made now, if you’re not, I have nothing more to say. I’m late for work and I need to get going.”

The Sergeant picked the chair up and motioned for TJ to sit in it. The kid did hesitate but followed the order. “You know, I could have your whole gang picked up and charged with underage drinking, illegal drug usage and curfew, shall I go on?”

TJ rolled his eyes in frustration he bit at his lower lip in thought and smiled. “You have a car assigned to us out there, you watch our every move, you know where we were and what we were doing and how long we were out there. If you wanted us that bad we would have been picked up last night. As it stands now, Sergeant, it’s your mans word against ours and I hate to point out the obvious here, but that’s thirty-three to one.” TJ’s eyes narrowed and he grinned because he saw the mans eyes hit with the realization that TJ was right, that he couldn’t hold him there any longer, there would be no charges and the department wasn’t’ any closer to finding the guys who did kill the guy. “It’s him against us, you a bettin’ kind a man? Cause I’d be willing to bet that even in the courts of law we’d be proven innocent. Am I right?”

The sergeant made his way to stand behind TJ and leaned over him to whisper in his ear, “give me a name, or so help me God, kid, I’ll make your life a living hell. Your boys will be picked up and fucked with every time they leave their houses. I’ll charge them with spitting on the sidewalk, I’ll make sure I’m in your nightmares, do I make myself clear?”

“Tax payers dollars at work huh, serge?”

“Shall I call Torro?”

TJ groaned and laid his head on his arms across the top of the table. Of all people he had to deal with on a daily basis, Torro was the one he could do without. Things went to hell when their parents died with Torro. There was no making Torro happy no matter what TJ did anymore. It got to the point that he stopped trying because he didn’t care anymore what Torro did to him or what he thought of him. His brother saw what he wanted and ignored every thing else. Torro meant one thing to TJ, and that was pain.

“Give me a name, make this easy on yourself, kid, and we’ll keep this between us.”

TJ looked straight ahead at the two-way mirror and saw the grim determination on the Sergeants face. He also saw how tired he himself was, more hung over actually; it was only fitting that he should look how he felt. Maybe this weekend he would take Richie with him and they’d get their hair trimmed.

“You’re leaving me no choice here I’m gonna have to call him.”

“I don’t know who did it, do what you will,” TJ said looking back at the window.

He spotted the Sears Tower and a small smile escaped his full pink heart shaped lips at the memory that came rushing back to him. He was eight and his mother took a day trip with him to the Sears Tower. They rode the EL all the way downtown, walked to the Tower and rode the elevator to the top. She held his small hand in hers the whole time, promising him that it was safe and they’d be okay. She sang to him the whole way. According to his father singing was the way she dealt with her fears. But TJ wasn’t afraid, he’d never been afraid, he knew though that she was and he felt like he was her protector that day. When they made it to the observation deck on the 103^rd floor to peer over the glorious city, they were speechless. They stared at everything, but his favorite was Lake Michigan. For miles and miles all he could see was water, the edge of the earth. He wanted to stay there forever, but she insisted that two hours was enough. They made their way to Maxwell Street and had a big greasy hamburger with fries, grilled onions, and a pop. It was the last time he’d been with her alone.

TJ swallowed the lump in his throat he got whenever he thought of her and focused instead on the blue sky.

The Sergeant had hoped that threatening this kid with Torro would have worked but the resistance he was being met with told him the conversation was at an end. He knew what Torro was like, he knew how strict he was, and he really hated to involve him but he needed Tanners help.

TJ’s pulse quickened when he heard the Sergeant talking to his brother. It wasn’t bad enough that today was the anniversary of his parent’s death, today Torro had finals, and he told them last night that the only reason he should be disturbed was if one of them was dead. He rubbed his forehead against the oncoming migraine. Reynolds opened another can of worms and Torro’s fury would yet again be directed at him, just another excuse for him to bring TJ down. He wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans and unconsciously rubbed at the grease spots on the knees.

“This isn’t right, you know it isn’t. You know what he’s like, he’s gonna kick my ass over this and we had nothing to do with it.” TJ was willing to face his brother’s wrath but he couldn’t handle being forced to give information that would get his boys and possibly himself killed. Life in the real world was forgotten to Torro and the cops. The minute someone opened their mouth they were dead and Torro knew this, but he didn’t care, he didn’t care what the rules were or about TJ.

“Who in the hell are you trying to protect?”         

TJ could only shake his head. My boys, my life, but the Sergeant wouldn’t understand.

“Give me what I want and I’ll call him back.”

“You really don’t give a damn about what will happen to us out there do you? Just mark it as another unsolved murder. I don’t know who did it. If I hear anything I’ll let you know.”

“Not good enough. I want names today.”

TJ looked at him, willing him to let it go. To let him go. “I don’t have them.”

Sergeant Reynolds walked to the door and opened it. “Then suffer the consequences, there isn’t anything I can do for you.” He let himself out and shut the door behind him.

“Uhh fuck.” TJ looked at the ceiling in exasperation, he knew it was no use, either way he was screwed, be it by Torro or the assholes that did do it. At this point he’d rather take Torro on, at least his boys and brothers would be safe. The group that did it couldn’t be stopped. He wasn’t afraid of them, neither were his boys, he trained them to protect themselves out there, but dammit, this wasn’t their doings.

The shit would never end.

His brother’s would be fine; the one thing they knew since they were in diapers was how to fight, all of them. Ever since TJ could remember other kids would try their best to bring an O’Brien boy down, trying to prove themselves. That in itself was no easy feat, Torro was massive at six four, the scale at the gym shouted out that he weighed 245 pounds a week ago, and he knew how to throw his weight around. He hadn’t met too many people willing to fight him, hell, TJ always had to laugh when whom ever issued a challenge to the brothers would change their minds almost at the start. Ryan was the lankiest of the four standing at six foot, but even so the four of them together were intimidating, even Richie the smallest one standing at five nine often ended up in more fights than the others because of his size alone.

What really sucked more than anything-- was Torro’s punch and he sure knew how to put his weight behind each powerful thrust often times leaving the person on the other end too dazed to strike back. 

TJ knew that pain first hand and it wasn't as if he did things to deserve it, his whole life was consumed with work, his boys, his brothers, and long time girlfriend Nicole, that’s it. And no matter how hard he tried to keep under the radar it wasn’t enough, Torro always found a reason to make him see the errors of his ways.

TJ shook his head to clear it of what was to come and licked his dry lips wishing for a cigarette. "Damn, damn, damn!" he said looked up at the popcorn ceiling. He found out before leaving for work this morning that he had a year left before he would be forced into becoming someone he knew in his heart he wasn’t. Not anymore, not after he found out what was waiting for him when that year was up.

***

“TJ, it’s time to go.”

Even before anything was said, TJ knew Torro was standing in the doorway. Shit. Shit, shit, he didn’t want to deal with Torro today, or any day at any point, his fucking temper knew no bounds. What TJ wanted right now more than anything was a good knuckle to knuckle fight, maybe that would help him get his frustrations out. The last time he felt this way he almost killed that dumbass kid on Cicero.

One second he and fifteen of his boys were trying to work territory out with their leader, Paul, and the next a gun was in his face. He remembered the gun and then nothing because he tried to kill the bastard and only stopped when Benny pulled him off the unconscious kid.

“Did you hear me? Let’s go.”

His voice never raised but TJ heard the anger-- he always ever heard the anger. He slowly nodded his head and looked to see Torro’s blue eyes peering at him. He always felt as if he was looking into the deep blue sky during a storm. With hesitation he stood up and backed away from the table. He walked towards the door, towards his brother, and as he did, he saw what he always did before the strike. He saw the evil in Torro's eyes and he knew there would be no getting out of this one without feeling it for days afterwards.

The first strike came at him almost immediately with Torro shoving him up against the wall by his throat, holding him there with one hand. With the other he slapped him across the side of his head.

TJ winced through the pain, not saying a word, it never did any good, and it always made things worse for him.

“Who did it? Don’t start feeding me the same cock and bull story you fed Reynolds. I want to know who killed that old man.” Torro squeezed tighter causing TJ to cough against the pressure on his Adams apple. He tried swallowing, tried moving his head to the side to loosen the grip, he tried prying Torro’s hand away, but it was no use.

Torro was in the mode.

“Who!”

“I don’t know,” TJ whispered, his heart was racing, the adrenaline charging through his system like an out of control freight train as Torro’s hand grew around his neck tighter.

“I said no bullshit! We will not leave here until I get what I want. Do you hear me?” Torro yelled glaring into TJ’s unmoving eyes.

TJ struggled to draw much needed air into his lungs, the air his brother denied him and the panic set in. He broke out in a cold sweat his head began swimming in a hazy fog then his stomach felt as if it spun itself around a few times. Time seemed to pass by too slow then. He kept his eyes glued to his brothers looking for an ounce of concern but was met with nothing but hate.

He no longer had the strength in his arms to pry his brother’s hand from his neck. His eyes began to get heavy and all TJ could think about was dying on the same day his parents did. Just as his world began to go dark he was on his knees gasping for air and coughing at the same time.

“I told you last night that I had finals today, do you remember that?”

TJ’s throat burned with each breath he drew in, his lungs ached from the deep coughing, all he could do was look up at his brother and nod his head.

“Then what the fuck am I doing here? You had a chance to come clean with him, yet your stubborn pride once again took over. Don’t think for one second that I’m letting you off. You will pay dearly for this. Now, I’m going to give you two options. Tell me who did it right now and I won’t kick your ass, or you keep your stubborn mouth shut and I’ll have each and every one of your boys picked up and then I'll kick your ass. You have two minutes.”

TJ slowly got to his feet, never taking his eyes from his brother. He didn’t trust Torro. His heart started thumping harder making him sweat more. He started to breathe deeper and faster making his head light all over again.

The memories of the last time Torro beat him came rushing back. God he was relentless, he wouldn’t stop till TJ was knocked out. When he finally came to he had two broken ribs, an open cut on his arm and black and blue marks that still hadn’t gone away. But he would heal, he always did.

TJ dropped his chin to his chest, trying to calm his breathing down. He closed his eyes and swallowed deeply. “I have nothing to say.”

Torro shook his head, kicked the chair out of his way, and backed TJ into the corner without ever touching him.

Before TJ could take a breath to steady himself for the impending attack, he was leaning over once again holding onto his stomach after Torro’s powerful jab that shot sharp binding pains straight through to his back. He fought to hold onto the light he refused to go down. He looked up at his brother through the long strands of hair that fell over his face and only then realized that it wasn’t his brother he was looking at anymore, it was a stranger who used to be his brother.

“Get over it,” Torro growled above him. “I have things I have to do and I sure as hell don’t have time to waste playing games with you. I asked you a question, answer it now!

TJ lowered his head, hiding behind his hair. “I don’t have the answer. Just do what you have to. I don’t care anymore.”

“So you want to see your boys in juvie? Is that what you want?”

TJ stood up, brushed his hair back with his long fingers, and took as deep of a breath as he could. “Does it matter?”

“This is shit, Tanner, give him what the hell he wants. Don’t make this something it doesn’t have to be. You need to think about what you’re doing-- about the attention you’ll be calling to us. Do you wanna see our brothers in foster care?”

Oh just fucking great, another wild card in the deck, TJ thought. First it was Torro by the Sergeant now it was his brothers by Torro. It just never ended. “No. Dammit, Torro, you know I could get killed over this. Please don’t ask me to do this, not if you care about me, don’t ask me to do this.” He looked hard into Torro’s cold eyes, he needed him to understand and to remember what would happen, what did happen to narks on the city streets. “They’ll get caught, give it time.” He silently pleased with him to ease him down, to trust things would work out but he was met with that wall of anger yet again. He knew there would be hell to pay; it was too late to avoid it. Dammit to hell, why in the hell didn’t they leave him alone and let him live.

“Tell me! Or I swear to all that’s holy you will pay.”

Again TJ felt his heart pounding at the promise, because he knew Torro would indeed do that. His pulse raced because of his promise to his father, he promised he'd never ever, no matter what happened, raise his hand to his brothers. His pulse raced because Torro was the only person in his life that he feared and he hated that fear. It wasn’t that he wasn’t capable of taking care of himself out there; he was clever and quick, he knew when to act and react.

He avoided death more times than he could count.

The reason his pulse raced was because he knew Torro was going to kill him and it would be soon. Oddly enough Torro helped TJ become who he was today. It was the time Torro spent working one on one with him. He spent hours teaching him strategy, moves, and the skills he would need to help keep him alive on the streets. At one time he admired Torro, he wanted to be like him and he worked hard over the years trying to gain his approval, but he never got it, no matter what he did.

No, death didn’t scare him. Torro did and leaving his boys, his brothers and Nicole behind did.

“I have tried to work with you, Tor, in all that you ask and demand from me, but I can’t do this.” He paused and took a shallow breath. “Would you have?”

Torro knew he was referring back to the time that he ran this same path. Deep down he knew TJ and what he and his boys stood for, but he had orders, he had a job to do. Time has a way of changing people when they least expect it and because of his responsibilities to his brothers, his job, and everything else, he was forced to change. It was because of his past that his brother was in danger, between the two of them they had a good number of enemies, and he waited everyday of his life for the call to come in telling him that his little brother was dead.

He knew what the boys meant to TJ, how much they respected him, but in the end, would it matter?

“I’ll take what I have coming. I can’t tell you what you want.”

Torro swore under his breath and glared at his little brother. “One day your stubbornness will get you hurt.”

“Or it will save someone’s life. We’ll have to wait and see,” TJ stated.

The door to the room opened and the Sergeant walked in with a lit cigarette between his lips. He eyed the brothers upon feeling the tension between them. “Is everything okay in here? Did you remember anything, Tanner?”

TJ shook his head never taking his eyes off his brother.

“Do you think if I had your boys picked up and thrown into juvie for a few weeks would help you remember?”

TJ spun around his dark eyes wild with anger and looked at the both of them. Backing into a corner and blowing his brains out had to be easier than this hell he lived in. “On what charges? You can’t lock them up to get me to talk.”

“Wanna bet?” Reynolds challenged with a smile.

Shit! Son of bitch, TJ swore under his breath. “I don’t know who killed him, neither do the boys.” He again brushed the hair out of his face the whole time biting down on his tongue, on the anger.

 “Fine, you wanna play, we’ll play. I’ll have each and every one of them picked up today. When you give me what I want, Tanner, I’ll consider letting them go. You,” he said pointing his index finger at him, “You I’m gonna keep.”

TJ nodded his head-- maybe it would be for the best. At least if he was in juvie Torro couldn’t kill him.

 “TJ, tell him what you know. Now!” Torro yelled looking at him with fury in his eyes.

TJ could almost feel the anger in the air now; it was just about thick enough to cut with a knife. “I can’t.”

“Don’t do this, just answer the question, and keep your boys safe,” Torro said walking up to him.

TJ saw Torro’s expression. His eyes wide and unwavering. The vein on the side of his neck seemed to take on a life of its own now. It was thumping as hard as his was. Shock, and anger described Torro to a tee. “If you make me do this, either way it won’t matter because in juvie or on the streets, even at home they won’t be safe and neither will I. Is that what you want?”

“I want an answer.”

“I can’t. Hell, I won’t. I’m not a cop its their job let them do it.”

Torro walked up to him, slowly backing him against the window where he put his hands on each side of the wall blocking TJ there. He fought hard not to strike him. It would wait. In his fury he didn’t notice TJ flinch when he hit the side of the wall near his head, he only saw the defiance. “Your call, Tanner. Sergeant, go ahead and have them picked up.”

TJ looked back into Torro’s eyes, he refused to look away, not with him so close. Looking away meant disrespect to his brother and that led to more pain. He was in enough already. “They don’t know anything more than I do, we were all together. You’re locking us up for nothing.”

“Maybe you’ll learn something,” Torro growled before he turned away.

“I will keep each and everyone of you until I get what I want.”

TJ looked at Sergeant Reynolds. “On what grounds?”

“I don’t need grounds! I need answers. The ball’s in your court, kid, which is it gonna be? Juvie or information?”

TJ didn’t hide the disgust he felt. Nothing like throwing them in a cage with hungry lions is there? “Juvie.”

The regret in his voice was deep, but the disappointment in his eyes would be something Torro would never forget.

“Juvie it is.”

TJ nodded his head in acceptance and understanding, not that he understood it or agreed, but what else could he do? He went back to the table and sat down on the wooden chair. He tipped it back on its rear legs and rocked it back and forth in frustration. His mind was rolling full speed ahead wondering if he did the right thing. He had to believe he was. His dad taught him that you had to believe in yourself and your decisions because if you didn’t no one else would.

“You better think hard about what your saying here,” Torro warned.

TJ wouldn’t look at him, he kept his head down he was being beaten in a completely new way. “I have. You know I don’t have a choice,” he said softly.

“Yes you do,” the Sergeant said from the doorway. “Tell us who did it and the boys will be fine, no one will know.”

TJ got to his feet and walked back to the window, he looked down at the cars racing to their destinations, the people running across the street, everyone had somewhere to be. “They won’t be if I say anything.” He turned to look at him. “Go ahead, do what you have to and I’ll do what I have to.”

Sergeant Reynolds nodded his head, looked for a split second at Torro, and opened the door. “It’s not too late, Tanner, we can still work this out.”

But it is, TJ thought. It was too late the minute Torro was called. He grew up with him, he knew Torro's anger, and he knew the pain he'd be in once Torro had him alone.

He was too scared to go home. Who in the hell would take care of everyone if Torro killed him today? He looked up at the light blue cloudless sky over the lake wishing he could go back to the time he and his family took trips to spend the day on North Avenue Beach together. That was a lifetime ago before he understood what hate was, before he understood fear. Now, no one scared him the way Torro did. “I’m afraid it is,” he said as if in a trance.

“Terrance, I’m sorry, he’s left me no choice. I’ll have to take him from here. We’ll get him processed and into juvie within the next three hours and until we determine who is responsible for that death he and his boys will stay there.”

Torro punched the wall beside TJ causing the kid to slip closer into the windowpane. Even with his back to Torro he felt the aggression.

“Don’t do this! Think of our brothers; think of what it will do to them! Just tell him for God’s sake.”

TJ refused to turn to him, if he was going to unleash his anger on him here; at least he’d be near a hospital.

“I can’t believe you’re willing to go to juvie over this. You’re putting the spotlight on us with the child protective agency. Do you realize that they’ll send a social worker in on us and question my ability to take care of you and our brothers?”

TJ bowed his head because what could he say to that? Torro was making him choose between his brother and the boys, but Torro was right, he was putting his brothers in the spotlight and the last thing he wanted was for them to suffer because of him. The damn worthless cops, the guys responsible for this were right in front of their noses and they were a hell of a lot bigger then they knew.

“Torro, who’s gonna take care of the boys out there? You want me to talk; you want to know who did it? Fine,” he said turning around looking at him now. “I’ll tell you if just to keep my brothers safe, but, Tor, this is bigger than anyone knows, and if anything happens to my boys over this, I’ll never forgive you, because, bro, this isn’t our business. You of all people know the rules out there, this is the one we never break but you’re leaving me no choice, you’re putting my brothers in this and they don’t belong in it.”

He turned away and walked back to the table to sit on top of it, his long legs extended to the front of him crossed at the ankles. He rubbed the back of his neck and licked his dry pink lips. “The Spiders. But they were ordered to do it. I don’t know who ordered it, but I do know that if they didn’t do it, then someone unknown was going to be gunned down, someone Adam cares about. I don’t know who. I swear.”

The Spiders was a gang led by his former friend Adam Whitman. TJ, Ryan, and Benny grew up with most of the older members in the gang, had been close friends for many years. When Adam turned twelve his parents and older brother were killed in a drug bust leaving Adam alone. He had been sent away to live with a relative out of the city for several years and when he returned he was a changed person. He wasn’t the same friend TJ nor Ryan remembered, something had happened to him, something he hid. Adam came back to Chicago with nothing but hate in his heart.

When Adam returned he formed the Spiders, and he arranged to meet with TJ and Ryan, he wanted them to co-lead the gang. Where Ryan flat out refused, TJ shocked them all by accepting. TJ remembered the beating Torro gave him that day like it happened the day before. It was so bad that he was in bed for a month trying to get over the physical pain. It was then that Torro forbid him from associating with Adam and anyone connected to him. He even went as far a spying on TJ to be sure he didn’t, and the one time he did he paid dearly.

Adam called TJ one afternoon, he was upset and wanted to talk so TJ agreed to meet him at the railroad tracks. When Torro found him twenty minutes later he beat TJ till he was bloody and unconscious. Adam had been the one to get him home that night and because of what had happened that day he avoided talking to TJ and Ryan so Torro wouldn't beat them. He stayed away from them until TJ took the Knights over, then he wanted TJ to join the gangs as one, and he was refused.

TJ let him know that his boys didn’t stand for the same things the Spiders did, they were on a different path. Adam wasn’t happy with the rejection and because of that things would never be settled for the two gangs, they became enemies and harassment followed.

“I’ll get a unit on it right away. Tanner, you could have saved us both all this wasted time if you would have just told me this almost three hours ago.”

TJ glared at Reynolds and shook his head.

“Well, you’re free to go, have a good day.”

After the Sergeant left the room TJ grabbed the chair and threw it against the wall where it shattered in several pieces. “Are you happy now?” he shouted with hate to his brother who stood at the window looking at him with anger and disappointment all over his face

Crafted by GorrillaDesigns