How Do You Console Someone You've Only Met On-line
January 11, 2012
When I met Lisa, over at a popular book reviewing site, I had no idea how close we'd become. I can tell you this in all honesty...I truly believe we are sisters from different mothers. She is one of the people I have met in life that I can say I feel like that about. We share so many of the same thoughts, ideas, likes, and dislikes. I make her nutty, and she makes me laugh. I go to her with my everyday life issues, and she comes to me. We are as open and as honest as two people can be. We hold very little back from one another. This is necessary in our relationship because not only is she my very best friend, she is my editor. She is also, though she'll deny this, my inspiration for a lot of my work. She is my solid rock wall, my friend that will give it to me in black and white and does it without being mean or spiteful. She looks out for my best interest. She tries to protect me like any loving sister would. She has no problems telling me what I'm doing is wrong, or off, or that I need to reconsider a particular idea, or even something that I get into that eventually lands me into trouble. Does she get angry with me? Sure she does. But she never turns away from me. She is what I call a true friend. Here for me through the good and the bad. We separate the parts of ourselves that put us as writer/editor when we aren't doing either and during that time we either cry on each others shoulders or laugh it all away until whatever has us in a spunk goes the hell away. Many times I set aside the writing, and she set aside the editing, just so we could hang out. Those are the best of times for us.
Recently Lisa found out some tough news concerning her blood sister who has been going through a hell of a time herself. She's been diagnosed with a cancer that is killing her and that damn thing is stealing a life, and taking away a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a mother, and a wife. She was recently given two options from her doctors. 1- Go to hospice and let go. Give up and let that damn cancer claim her life or 2- Go to the hospital for 30 days and undergo intense treatments to try to take her body back. It didn't take long for her and her husband to pick the 2nd one. She is not ready to give up. She is not done living. But this procedure alone could end her life.
Lisa recently wrote a post on this painful journey and when I read it, I sat at my computer and I cried. Not only for Lisa, but for her sister, for the family and then I cried for me because I have recently come across some medical issues of my own that I'm battling through. My thing, though dangerous, isn't anything like what Lisa's sister is facing and I was ashamed of myself for being so down these past two weeks when that poor lady in AZ is fighting for just one more day. How could I in all my selfishness: im, text, email Lisa at all hours with my fears when she was facing the hell she is on her own. Though she tries to hide it, she tries to not let it consume her every waking moment, it is there. How can it not be?
Lisa is a hell of a strong lady, and I admire the hell out of her. As I sat and read that post, I had Lisa on IM, as that is how we talk most of the time, and I said, that is deep. She replied. "Yeah, I'm a mess right now, M." I broke. And at that point I think I am almost relieved she couldn't see me, because we'd be a hot mess ya know?
With Lisa and I it just takes a simple email or text: I am missing you. And we jump on IM and we chat all day long, well into the night. We laugh, we mess around looking for hot guys online, for jokes, for anything to entertain ourselves. Sadly, we don't have the option to just head over to each others house to just be there. To give a real hug to, to wipe those real tears away, to just sit there next to one another and say nothing, but comforted because we know. We can't have coffee sitting side by side, we can's share that huge bar of dark chocolate. But we do on-line. We each make coffee, grab that chocolate and we share that way. We sit in silence on IM, and we know we're there, but it's not the same.
I can type all day long how sorry I am, I can text till I'm blue in the face, I can email until my fingers fall off, but it'll never be the same as holding that person in your arms to give them the strength they need during difficult times. On-line relationships can be intense. I know this for a fact. I am close to few and to the few I am close to, will agree with me. There are times you just need that physical closeness of your closest friends. You too have someone(s) you're very close to, so you understand. On-line I am who I am in person. I'm more reserved on-line though, in person I'm a bit different. But I go with this: this is who I am, insecurities, not at all perfect, sometimes argumentative, very passionate about what I do, very protective over the characters I have in my head and guess what? Lisa is just as protective of them as I am. That warms my heart.
But all in all, I have a good heart and almost always willing to help anyone out who comes to me and I am busy as all hell. I'm a writer, a reader, a reviewer, a mom, grandmom, a wife. If you get it, you get it. Lisa, she gets it. She knows the amount of hours I put into creating a story for people to read, and she spends countless hours editing those stories. She knows the time it takes to read the amount of books we read and get reviews ready for the site. We are a team, we work well together, and I do believe we will do this until we're 93. In whatever fashion.
I also run a review site that Lisa had to leave, due to the daily stress it creates. Lord knows my girl has enough. I will miss her there terribly. I already miss her.
Lisa is a forever friend. She's been with me and held me up after a rather difficult loss of a friend I once had. Lisa stepped up and she protected me with everything she had. Just as I would do her. Only she is the one who keeps things where they belong. She has scolded me several times. I swear I'm a brat. And she has the patience of Jobe. When we log off for the night and we say: I love you. I mean that. I know she means it back. Three little words, but mean so much when they are used with truth.
And right now, I am stepping up to the plate, not that I haven't before for her, but I am stepping up to the plate to be her rock, to be her light in this hell she finds herself. And can you believe, that after all the time I've known this sweet girl that I haven't ever met her in person? On-line relationships. Yes, people tell you to be leery of them, one never knows who it is on the other end of the conversation but let me tell you something. IF Lisa were an alien from Saturn, I would care less. I adore her to pieces. We have arranged to meet each other this summer in New York. If all goes well, we shall do just that. And I suspect New York won't know what the hell hit them because we do plan on having the fun we need to have.
Lisa.....I love you! And you hold on and when you need me, I'll be here, standing by you forever.
Recently Lisa found out some tough news concerning her blood sister who has been going through a hell of a time herself. She's been diagnosed with a cancer that is killing her and that damn thing is stealing a life, and taking away a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a mother, and a wife. She was recently given two options from her doctors. 1- Go to hospice and let go. Give up and let that damn cancer claim her life or 2- Go to the hospital for 30 days and undergo intense treatments to try to take her body back. It didn't take long for her and her husband to pick the 2nd one. She is not ready to give up. She is not done living. But this procedure alone could end her life.
Lisa recently wrote a post on this painful journey and when I read it, I sat at my computer and I cried. Not only for Lisa, but for her sister, for the family and then I cried for me because I have recently come across some medical issues of my own that I'm battling through. My thing, though dangerous, isn't anything like what Lisa's sister is facing and I was ashamed of myself for being so down these past two weeks when that poor lady in AZ is fighting for just one more day. How could I in all my selfishness: im, text, email Lisa at all hours with my fears when she was facing the hell she is on her own. Though she tries to hide it, she tries to not let it consume her every waking moment, it is there. How can it not be?
Lisa is a hell of a strong lady, and I admire the hell out of her. As I sat and read that post, I had Lisa on IM, as that is how we talk most of the time, and I said, that is deep. She replied. "Yeah, I'm a mess right now, M." I broke. And at that point I think I am almost relieved she couldn't see me, because we'd be a hot mess ya know?
With Lisa and I it just takes a simple email or text: I am missing you. And we jump on IM and we chat all day long, well into the night. We laugh, we mess around looking for hot guys online, for jokes, for anything to entertain ourselves. Sadly, we don't have the option to just head over to each others house to just be there. To give a real hug to, to wipe those real tears away, to just sit there next to one another and say nothing, but comforted because we know. We can't have coffee sitting side by side, we can's share that huge bar of dark chocolate. But we do on-line. We each make coffee, grab that chocolate and we share that way. We sit in silence on IM, and we know we're there, but it's not the same.
I can type all day long how sorry I am, I can text till I'm blue in the face, I can email until my fingers fall off, but it'll never be the same as holding that person in your arms to give them the strength they need during difficult times. On-line relationships can be intense. I know this for a fact. I am close to few and to the few I am close to, will agree with me. There are times you just need that physical closeness of your closest friends. You too have someone(s) you're very close to, so you understand. On-line I am who I am in person. I'm more reserved on-line though, in person I'm a bit different. But I go with this: this is who I am, insecurities, not at all perfect, sometimes argumentative, very passionate about what I do, very protective over the characters I have in my head and guess what? Lisa is just as protective of them as I am. That warms my heart.
But all in all, I have a good heart and almost always willing to help anyone out who comes to me and I am busy as all hell. I'm a writer, a reader, a reviewer, a mom, grandmom, a wife. If you get it, you get it. Lisa, she gets it. She knows the amount of hours I put into creating a story for people to read, and she spends countless hours editing those stories. She knows the time it takes to read the amount of books we read and get reviews ready for the site. We are a team, we work well together, and I do believe we will do this until we're 93. In whatever fashion.
I also run a review site that Lisa had to leave, due to the daily stress it creates. Lord knows my girl has enough. I will miss her there terribly. I already miss her.
Lisa is a forever friend. She's been with me and held me up after a rather difficult loss of a friend I once had. Lisa stepped up and she protected me with everything she had. Just as I would do her. Only she is the one who keeps things where they belong. She has scolded me several times. I swear I'm a brat. And she has the patience of Jobe. When we log off for the night and we say: I love you. I mean that. I know she means it back. Three little words, but mean so much when they are used with truth.
And right now, I am stepping up to the plate, not that I haven't before for her, but I am stepping up to the plate to be her rock, to be her light in this hell she finds herself. And can you believe, that after all the time I've known this sweet girl that I haven't ever met her in person? On-line relationships. Yes, people tell you to be leery of them, one never knows who it is on the other end of the conversation but let me tell you something. IF Lisa were an alien from Saturn, I would care less. I adore her to pieces. We have arranged to meet each other this summer in New York. If all goes well, we shall do just that. And I suspect New York won't know what the hell hit them because we do plan on having the fun we need to have.
Lisa.....I love you! And you hold on and when you need me, I'll be here, standing by you forever.
Posted by Michele Montgomery.
