The Spiderman Iguana---Dash---
September 5, 2010
OMG I have a notsofunny but funny story to tell you!!
Earlier this morning my son's Iguana escaped his cage and managed to get out on the balcony...Well, I had no idea we had an escaped Iguana so I bounce out there and see my son standing like he was going to throw a football or something and I asked him what the hell he was doing and he said in a quiet panicked voice: "Dash is right there." Well I looked "right there" and OMG!!! That crazy lizard, Dash was on the edge of the balcony...as in..the edge with no where to go but down?
NO!! DON'T DO IT...well, really? What is one to do in a situation like that? If you go closer to the lizard you know it'll run and since he had NO where to go but down we were afraid to move...Well, in the meantime my hubby was downstairs talking to neighbors and my son is trying to holler at him for help. HELLO? We live on the 2nd floor...Frank is NOT Spiderman and guess what Dash did?
RIGHT!! the dumb lizard DOVE off the balcony!!! O.M.G. My son screamed, I screamed and Frank was below in shock. Well, the damn lizard hit the ground RUNNING!! (i think he's spiderman iguana) Okay, side note: I manage an apartment complex in downtown Denver, and it's subsidized housing.
My son and I tear through the house on our way downstairs like mini whirlwinds trying to decide should we take the stairs or just jump? (we took the stairs 2 at a time)
Well all the people in the courtyard see the green lizard running and what do they do? They all scream and run AWAY...the lizard is like small...the people are like big...hm...so, the lizard, Dash gets scared and runs toward the damn street!! Well, we live downtown, it's busy on the streets and he decides that's his best route. (dummy) and hot on his ass is my husband, my son, and then me with my hair wrapped in a towel (remember i just got out of the shower) and Dash ends up IN the engine of a parked car...
Well, it just so happens that this certain parked car belongs to a guy who is.......................buying CRACK from this other guy...and these guys see all of us running towards them and they freak out thinking we are:
DEA!!! The seller freaks out and runs, the buyer freezes in place and one of the neighbors here , he's this really big black guy, he tells the buyer, OPEN YOUR HOOD!! The ...........little .................dinosaur is in there!!!
Well the buyer is shaking like a mad man, and he says: Man, what the hell man? Well, our tenant says: If you do NOT open that hood, boy, I'm going to choke your ass! ....the boy opened the hood and I swear he looked like he was going to pass smooth out...my son reaches in through the top of the engine, my hubby is under the car poking the damn "little dinosaur" in the head to make him back up and guess where I was???
YES..in the middle of the street and stopping traffic...All for a little dinosaur......
needless to say: said Dash the Spiderman Lizard is going to a new home....My son said: I can NOT take the stress. LMAO!!!!!
Earlier this morning my son's Iguana escaped his cage and managed to get out on the balcony...Well, I had no idea we had an escaped Iguana so I bounce out there and see my son standing like he was going to throw a football or something and I asked him what the hell he was doing and he said in a quiet panicked voice: "Dash is right there." Well I looked "right there" and OMG!!! That crazy lizard, Dash was on the edge of the balcony...as in..the edge with no where to go but down?
NO!! DON'T DO IT...well, really? What is one to do in a situation like that? If you go closer to the lizard you know it'll run and since he had NO where to go but down we were afraid to move...Well, in the meantime my hubby was downstairs talking to neighbors and my son is trying to holler at him for help. HELLO? We live on the 2nd floor...Frank is NOT Spiderman and guess what Dash did?
RIGHT!! the dumb lizard DOVE off the balcony!!! O.M.G. My son screamed, I screamed and Frank was below in shock. Well, the damn lizard hit the ground RUNNING!! (i think he's spiderman iguana) Okay, side note: I manage an apartment complex in downtown Denver, and it's subsidized housing.
My son and I tear through the house on our way downstairs like mini whirlwinds trying to decide should we take the stairs or just jump? (we took the stairs 2 at a time)
Well all the people in the courtyard see the green lizard running and what do they do? They all scream and run AWAY...the lizard is like small...the people are like big...hm...so, the lizard, Dash gets scared and runs toward the damn street!! Well, we live downtown, it's busy on the streets and he decides that's his best route. (dummy) and hot on his ass is my husband, my son, and then me with my hair wrapped in a towel (remember i just got out of the shower) and Dash ends up IN the engine of a parked car...
Well, it just so happens that this certain parked car belongs to a guy who is.......................buying CRACK from this other guy...and these guys see all of us running towards them and they freak out thinking we are:
DEA!!! The seller freaks out and runs, the buyer freezes in place and one of the neighbors here , he's this really big black guy, he tells the buyer, OPEN YOUR HOOD!! The ...........little .................dinosaur is in there!!!
Well the buyer is shaking like a mad man, and he says: Man, what the hell man? Well, our tenant says: If you do NOT open that hood, boy, I'm going to choke your ass! ....the boy opened the hood and I swear he looked like he was going to pass smooth out...my son reaches in through the top of the engine, my hubby is under the car poking the damn "little dinosaur" in the head to make him back up and guess where I was???
YES..in the middle of the street and stopping traffic...All for a little dinosaur......
needless to say: said Dash the Spiderman Lizard is going to a new home....My son said: I can NOT take the stress. LMAO!!!!!
Posted by Michele Montgomery. Posted In : Funny
Ever since I published River of Tears last August, I've been wanting to pull it and revise it. If you've read my past blogs about my editing issues with it, you'll understand what happened and why and all that fun stuff. 
