blog

The Spiderman Iguana---Dash---

Sun, 05 Sep 2010 00:19:07 +0100

OMG I have a notsofunny but funny story to tell you!!

Earlier this morning my son's Iguana escaped his cage and managed to get out on the balcony...Well, I had no idea we had an escaped Iguana so I bounce out there and see my son standing like he was going to throw a football or something and I asked him what the hell he was doing and he said in a quiet panicked voice: "Dash is right there." Well I looked "right there" and OMG!!! That crazy lizard, Dash was on the edge of the balcony...as in..the edge with no where to go but down?

NO!! DON'T DO IT...well, really? What is one to do in a situation like that? If you go closer to the lizard you know it'll run and since he had NO where to go but down we were afraid to move...Well, in the meantime my hubby was downstairs talking to neighbors and my son is trying to holler at him for help. HELLO? We live on the 2nd floor...Frank is NOT Spiderman and guess what Dash did?

RIGHT!! the dumb lizard DOVE off the balcony!!! O.M.G. My son screamed, I screamed and Frank was below in shock. Well, the damn lizard hit the ground RUNNING!! (i think he's spiderman iguana) Okay, side note: I manage an apartment complex in downtown Denver, and it's subsidized housing.

My son and I tear through the house on our way downstairs like mini whirlwinds trying to decide should we take the stairs or just jump? (we took the stairs 2 at a time)

Well all the people in the courtyard see the green lizard running and what do they do? They all scream and run AWAY...the lizard is like small...the people are like big...hm...so, the lizard, Dash gets scared and runs toward the damn street!! Well, we live downtown, it's busy on the streets and he decides that's his best route. (dummy) and hot on his ass is my husband, my son, and then me with my hair wrapped in a towel (remember i just got out of the shower) and Dash ends up IN the engine of a parked car...

Well, it just so happens that this certain parked car belongs to a guy who is.......................buying CRACK from this other guy...and these guys see all of us running towards them and they freak out thinking we are:

DEA!!! The seller freaks out and runs, the buyer freezes in place and one of the neighbors here , he's this really big black guy, he tells the buyer, OPEN YOUR HOOD!! The ...........little .................dinosaur is in there!!!

Well the buyer is shaking like a mad man, and he says: Man, what the hell man? Well, our tenant says: If you do NOT open that hood, boy, I'm going to choke your ass! ....the boy opened the hood and I swear he looked like he was going to pass smooth out...my son reaches in through the top of the engine, my hubby is under the car poking the damn "little dinosaur" in the head to make him back up and guess where I was???

YES..in the middle of the street and stopping traffic...All for a little dinosaur......

needless to say: said Dash the Spiderman Lizard is going to a new home....My son said: I can NOT take the stress. LMAO!!!!!

Define Friendship

Tue, 31 Aug 2010 04:25:54 +0100

Friendship is defined a personal relationship shared between each friend for the welfare of one another, in other words, it is the relationship of trust, faith and concern for each others feelings. It is a relationship of mutual caring and intimacy among one another."

So, knowing just the smallest definition of what that one word means, in laymen terms, what does it mean to you? Really think about it and then take a look around you. Look at the people you work with, at your neighbors, at school buddies, and even the people you talk to on-line.

Out of all those people you come into contact with on a daily basis, who among them fits the above definition? Lets go beyond that and then ask: Who, of my "friends" do I really trust? Do I really trust that person or persons? Dare I share myself?

"Friendship is all about how much you care and understand each other. It is a pure relationship, which would make your friend smile, feel good as to how much you love him and care for him. It is all about talking, listening and building up a strong relationship loyalty among each other."

Recently someone here on Goodreads had a terrible experience with a friend. They met this past May, they chatted and developed a bond, a friendship. They may have shared fascinating personal facts about themselves that no one else knows, or they may have kept it on a light non-personal level but whichever way they chose to take it, something went wrong. Really wrong.

"There are some friendships which might end with unresolved conflicts and tiffs which means that these type of relationship were not so strong that could hold on their own in adversity and bad times. Friendship is not about merry-making and fun it involves equal loyalty from both the partners." (thank you ezine articles)

ONE of those partners obviously didn't take the time to understand friendship. It involves equal loyalty from both...One of those partners took a pretty bad turn and that bond was broken, very broken and it's one I don't think will ever be repaired. IN fact, I know it won't be. The other person turned that friendship ugly by becoming a stalker and that person harassed the prior friend, or how would you call this? Harassed the ex-friend sounds better and sent that person HATE emails, from several different email accounts as the injured party was instructed to block all incoming mail from the ex-friend. Finally it got to the point that, lets call the injured friend Fred...Fred had to delete his email account all together because he had no way of knowing which new email address would be invented by the other person to send him emails. These were not nice emails, they were full of hurtful statements that had no business reaching his eyes...He has a sweet soul and deserved better.

Now, lets go one step further...Fred's ex-friend then began sending emails to Fred's Goodreads Friends! In the email, the same one copied over, ex-friend made some pretty bold statements and asked the friends to turn their backs on Fred. Lies were made up and then this hot mess was carried to a few Yahoo Groups and the note was spread there as well. Do you know the damage done to Fred over this? Physically no, ex-friend can't get to Fred, luckily he never shared his real physical address with said ex-friend but still. The emotional damage this person caused over a matter of a week? It was horrendous to watch.

I silently cried for Fred and no...I don't really know him, and I may never meet him face to face, but I know enough about him that he didn't deserve that betrayal by a person calling them-self his best friend. Slowly, I will work on becoming a true friend to Fred because he is someone I want to know better. And if we are meant to be friends, good for us.

"It should be understood that not all friends are best friends. One might come across numerous number of friends in his life but there are very few who will be their during your ups and down."

"... a best friend from among your friends is the hardest task to do..."

In life, I think I've had a handful of "best friends." How many have you had or do have? I have a few and I consider myself so very lucky to have them...(and yes you know who you are.)

"A true friendship does not consist of a huge number of friends you keep but it is valued by its worth and capability to hold you and stand by you in all phases of life."

So, in short...When you do come across someone you feel would fit that bill...don't be afraid to take that step to form that bond, that friendship...just be cautious and you'll know when that time is right to take it up a level. A true friend will never try to take your life over or away...

And always remember: A friend is someone who bails you out of jail. A true friend is in jail with you.

Can Anyone Please Add Another?

Fri, 25 Jun 2010 01:05:21 +0100

24 Hours to a day please? I'm asking nicely. Ever since moving back to Denver I have become so unbelievably busy it's silly. I went from living in Tucson and being able to write almost all the time to living in downtown Denver and begging for an hour to write any of the time. Oh, I'm not complaining, I'm just saying. I mean, in Tucson I didn't work outside of my home so I had loads of time to do what I love. I was working on a huge novel, well, I guess it'd be a series actually. A total of three books, with possible spin offs. In fact that story is for the most part done. Most part: I still haven't finished the third book. Why? Well, when I decided to shift things around and work outside of my comfy zone I found that I loved writing in a whole new genre. But, I am jumping ahead of myself.

So, I live in Denver and I have a p.t. job...well...it's supposed to be p.t. but over the last month or so I've been doing more like f.t. I work 8-5, Mon-Wed-Fri and Tues and Thurs I am supposed to work 8-11. Nice right? Well, no, not so much. Every other day just sucks, then add those three hours on the off days? Leaves my head swirling most of the time. By the time I get off work, get home, get things settled at home, dinner thought out and done, things picked up...well, you get the picture because many you do this everyday of your lives. I also am committed to a review site that I do along with two other amazing people. So, lets add reading a lot more than usual.

I'm trying to figure out where you find the energy to work F.T. and still do the extras in your lives. I often find myself anxious. I want to just yell and tell everyone go away so I can write. I can just feel it bubbling over. And until, I can sit with my computer and do just that, I'm not at ease. So, lately I've been staying up later to get at least a chapter done a night. Thank God for my beta reader!!! He sure has been a blessing to me. He keeps me on track, he keeps me in the proper headspace and keeps those sweet words just for me to keep me going.

I love my weekends, and so do my kids. Every weekend they want to see us, spend time with us, as do the grandkids. And I'll say it's truly a blessing. I adore them. But...I often want to say: Can I just have this weekend to write? Then the guilt monster comes along and I say nothing. I'm blessed and throwing that in anyone's face is not something I plan on ever doing. I'll just stay up later on weekends then I ususally do. I'm so thrilled that my imagination does not fail me, cuz wow I've had some amazing ideas appear lately.

Now, as many of you may know, I've been working on a three part series, Behind Blue Eyes. The characters in that story are as much a part of me as my own kids are. After a long discussion with my editor, it was decided that BBE needed to be revamped. In other words, all the hard work that went into its creation is going to be changed. Most of the material will be used but a lot will not be. I can't wait to introduce you to these amazing guys!! Right now I'm working on a few books that relate closely to BBE. Picture this: A clock...okay now imagine the numbers and in the center imagine BBE. That is what I'm working on. Talk about keeping busy? LOL. Each book will be a stand alone but connected, it will be written for M/M readers, and the stories are deep.

Again, I'm begging for more time cuz I have all this I want to do, and finding out that the clock says its time for me to go to bed or I won't be able to get up for work.

AHH!!! There's my solution...Quit the Evil Day Job! That's found time right? haha...now...I wonder if editor would see it that way?? OH for that matter my hubby and the bills....hmm....Okay, off to work now...

Rver of Tears Update

Sun, 23 May 2010 17:43:50 +0100

Ever since I published River of Tears last August, I've been wanting to pull it and revise it. If you've read my past blogs about my editing issues with it, you'll understand what happened and why and all that fun stuff.

I've been elated with the reviews the story is getting, and I'm so very pleased with how it's being reviewed among the readers all over. However, because of the known issues I had with editing and my unease with pushing the book as it deserves to be pushed and marketed, I'm pulling it.

Starting tomorrow, May 24th, my editor is going to do his magic. The book will undergo its first professional edit. Once he's done I will upload it to Amazon, replacing the one that's there now. I'm keeping what I have up now, though. I will also lower the price until I upload the brand new professionally edited one. Then I'm going to Outskirts Press and pulling it from there as well. I will submit the new shiny version with the new book cover and re-release it.

At that time, my editor, who is also a promoter, marketer, and talker, will begin to beat the streets to get River the attention it needs. Leaving me to concentrate on what I love to do. Write.

If you've already bought the book and feel as if the editing issues with it took you out of the story, I encourage you to contact me. I will send you the brand new version, free of charge. If you bought the print copy, you'll get a free print copy. If you bought the e-book copy, I'll send you the free e-book copy. Please send me a message for details on how to go about requesting a new copy.

I'm not vying for attention. I just believe in the story that much and I want to share it with as many as possible. I don't want the editing in the book to take away from it.

In closing, I want to send thanks to those who took a chance on a new naive author.

The story behind Tony & Ryan

Thu, 20 May 2010 20:47:12 +0100

Tony & Ryan are two characters from a series I've been working on for more years than I care to say. For the longest time I had a heck of a time connecting with Ryan, until I explored his hidden side. He's 1 of 4 brothers. He's an orphan. He's an undercover agent on the run.

I tried for years to get inside his head for the series. He played hide and seek with me for a long time to the point that I almost took him out of the story all together. Then Jeff challenged me to delve into the magic world of m/m romance. He actually challenged me,(I LOVE a challenge) to do this. At the time I was not working out of the house. I wrote full time and managed to get a lot accomplished with BBE. I didn't want to stop working with the characters and develop more for another story.

As I said I was having a heck of a time getting into Ryan's head and the scenes I was working with just so happened to belong to him. I was very reluctant to meet that certain challenge at that time. Until Jeff suggested using my difficult character in the story he wanted me to write for him. Ah, a light came on. What a perfect exercise to get to know Ryan a lot better. I thought, that I can do. I figured that Ryan was a bit on the jealous side only because BBE is his brother's story and not his. WOW! I couldn't have been more wrong!

Once I found out why I was having a difficult time with my Ryan, I almost shouted in glee. I began writing Ryan well before I started reading mm fiction and until I explored the other side of him, he was just a brat with me. He came out to me and I'm thrilled. I'm now writing him with ease in the series and even went back to book 1 and fixed all the issues I had with him. YAY! Even Tony makes more sense to me.

When I tell someone that my characters aren't just characters, that they're as real to me as they are, they look at me like I'm crazy. Those characters are an extension of not only myself but of other people I know. They have to be real to me to write with them. I allow that character to develop and become who they are, good or bad. I report what I see. That I sit with my computer and write it, and feel their pain, their frustrations, their happiness, and love, in my eyes makes me their voice. Does that make me crazy? Maybe, but it's a great kind of crazy. Can I distinguish between the "real" world and my made up world? Yes. Without a doubt. However, there are times I like the made up world a lot better.

Generally I write more mainstream fiction. I like to play with human emotions, and not always on the good side. Real life events are put into the stories I work with, good, and bad. Though, I refuse to allow a bad ending I may play with the reader a bit, make them angry, sad, happy, even make them laugh and cry but I will not allow a story I write to end on a bad note.

To write an m/m romance scared the hell out of me. I never though of writing romance in any Genre, I always said. I'll leave that to the pros. Well, when this exercise presented itself, and I looked at it in a different light, I actually had a lot of fun with it. If I can go back and forth I'd say it's a hell of an accomplishment.

I owe this story to Jeff for believing in me. I also want to thank Keta, Ryan, and S.J., for their support.

Just wanted to share with all

Tue, 23 Feb 2010 22:42:33 +0100

This post came as a surprise to me from Amy J today and I wanted to share this with you. Her words about my book actually brought tears to my eyes. I had no idea she was going to post this.

Today I wanted to start a discussion and get some thoughts from other readers. When you are cruising around your book blogs, are you more likely to buy books from authors you have heard about, or do you like to find books by authors that you have never heard of before?

For me, I like to find new authors. They are like finding diamonds in the rough. It is hard to fathom why so many wonderful authors are still struggling to be picked up by major publishing companies. Now, I understand those big companies can only sign on so many wonderful authors due to money and demand. Wouldn't it be great though if they had a program for new authors? Maybe one new author a month to offer a contract to? ….

Amy goes on to say a lot of interesting things and then mentions River of Tears. To see what she’s said please click here: http://myoverstuffedbookshelf.blogspot.com/2010/02/unknown-authors-vs-big-time-authors.html

……RIVER OF TEARS by Michele L. Montgomery is still my favorite book of 2009. I have read that book 3 times and the words still send my emotions into overdrive and tug at my heart. It is a book that has stayed with me and I still have not found a book that touched me as much as it did since then. It will probably be my favorite book of 2010 if I keep re reading it over and over again. This author was one that I had never heard of, the cover was not fancy with half naked men on the front, and I still wanted to read it. A true diamond in the rough was found.

Her words have touched me very deep.

A Great Start to a New Year

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 19:30:15 +0100

When the “ball” dropped bringing in the New Year I prayed it would be a better year for all of us. I remember where I was when I thought this. I was laying in bed, propped up with three comfy pillows with my covers snuggling around me. I had the T.V. on and my ever loving pen and notebook on my writing tray sitting on top of me. I like to bring the new year in writing. It’s just something I do.

Well, I was there, it was midnight, and my phone started going off the wall, beeping and buzzing and playing music. I looked over to the side of me where my hubby was dead to the world around him, asleep. I whispered “Happy New Year” and kissed his nose. He didn’t stir. Then I replied to all the texts wishing all a VERY Happy New Year. A few minutes after the ball dropped I heard fireworks and gun shots outside of our bedroom window. Then I heard huge booms and because we were living near the base in Tucson, I put my fuzzy pink pajama pants on, with my fuzzy pink slippers, grabbed my Def Leppard hoodie and headed to our patio to see if I could see the fireworks. (Yes, my fashion sense sucks. But hey, it was midnight.)

My son was sitting on one of the chairs with a big smile on his face. We wished each other Happy New Year and I sat down beside him. I can remember the moon being so bright that night and we looked up and just stared. The booming went on, the shouts of other’s wishing anyone who would listen a Happy New Year went on, gun shots going off in the distance went on for several minutes. We weren’t able to see fireworks, but we saw the moon. We saw lots of stars and we saw something else. Or rather, we felt something else that was more meaningful.

A sense of hope and peace. At precisely 12:15, (I know this because a text came in and I glanced down and noticed the time.) A feeling of complete peace and happiness hit me. A relief of sorts, a feeling of all is right and a feeling of peace. Now, I realize we are a war torn nation, we are financially a mess, and there are huge deficits, no jobs to be had, and more and more people living on the streets. So, with all this and this isn’t even mentioning incurable diseases, how could I feel what I did?

I honestly do not know and I haven’t questioned it. All I knew was that for the year and a half that I lived in Arizona, we as a family struggled so hard there were times I thought we’d end up living at the park behind our place. We went without meals many times, we went without the simplest staples too, but we never ever once allowed ourselves to get down about it. We had each other, there were four of us, and all four of us became the best of friends during this time. We thanked God for keeping us healthy and alive, we thanked Him for giving us the ability to actually pay rent, the utilities and buy food in that order. Yes, we sure did go hungry many times but it wasn’t His fault, it was 100% the economy’s fault. We laughed and joked around daily, and sometimes we had a tear or two but we never ever lost the faith. We remained strong as a unit; in fact we grew stronger during that time. For that, I’m thankful.

Anyway, we decided that we all had enough of Arizona and the hard times it seemed to offer us. It was like we weren’t supposed to be there and we kept fighting the natural order of things by staying. We pushed buttons and pissed someone off I’m sure cause unseen forces wanted us gone. I think we went back to Tucson for a purpose and we served that purpose and it was time to get out of town. Honestly, I think we served our purpose the first month we were there but the hubby didn’t think so. It took a long time for him to finally say he had enough after he went without a job for way too long. Another thing that really sealed the deal for us was spending the holidays away from our other two kids and their kids.

On New Years Day, after getting an amazing good nights sleep we all sat down and talked seriously about moving back to Colorado. We all voted to leave AZ. However, we had a tiny problem. The funds it would take to do this, was way out of our reach. That didn’t stop us though and we ordered the ABF trailer to arrive at our apt. complex on the 6^th of January. We began collecting boxes and started packing. We still had no idea how this was going to happen though. We just kept going. The ABF trailer didn’t have to be paid for until we arrived at our destination. Basically, you don’t pay; you don’t get your stuff. That was not an option as we didn’t want to lose anything that we packed in the trailer. Did that stop us? Nope. We kept packing not knowing how in the world we were going to come up with the money for gas for the two trucks we own, never mind how we’d pay for the ABF trailer. As my husband said, ‘Just keep going, thing’s will work out like they’re supposed to.’ So, we did. We hadn’t lost the faith in all this time, why start now?

A day later we received an envelope in the mail, and inside this envelope was the answer to our prayers. It came VERY unexpected from someone we all admire and love dearly. It was a check that was enough to cover the cost of the move. Now, let me state here that we didn’t tell ANYONE our plans. Yet, there I was sitting there with a check in my hand that would cover the move and get our stuff off the trailer once in Denver. Can you see the tears rolling down yet?

There wasn’t a dry eye there. The four of us cried in thanks and happiness and we looked up and thanked Him.

Once we arrived in Denver, my husband landed a job where he was offered a free apartment, free utilities, and an hourly wage. We now live downtown Denver, in a free apartment and he loves his new job. We pray often that the job is here for a long time to come.

Now, the only way I can even begin to understand this strange miracle of sorts is to just look up and know that HE made it happen. HE put the bug in our angel’s ear and that angel sent that check that helped to get us back home and back on the right track. I won’t say that the whole time we lived in Tucson that it was bad. A lot of good came from being there too. One of the biggest was the release of my first novel, “River of Tears.” The second good thing that came out of being in Tucson was reconnecting with my brother. I hadn’t seen or heard from him in five years. He took a different path in life that he got lost in, and he turned away from all of us. Thankfully he is once again talking to us, my mom, and my sister. The other big thing that happened while I was in Tucson was me finding one of my best friends. Our parents were very close friends the whole time we were kids. I grew up in Chicago, he grew up in Tucson, and we used to visit them as often as we could. He and I remained close until we both started our families; we each went our different ways for twenty years. One day I was taking a break from writing, I headed over to Facebook and his name came to mind, so I looked him up and what do you know? He was right there! (There’s a whole story in itself about this and maybe one day I’ll share it.) I talk to him all the time now; I met his kids and went to his house a few times. My once jealous hubby now understands that he is my oldest friend, and I do love him, but as a friend. He’s a keeper! And he takes care of my web page for me.

So, a lot of good stuff came from our stay in Tucson but it was time to move on.

I learned long ago not to question the Man’s motives, just do what you can and let Him do the rest. I live by that.

Happy New Year!!!

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 15:13:06 +0100

We made it to see another decade. 2010.

Friends and Family

When I was a senior in high school the world was supposed to end or so I was told when I was in 8^th grade. Imagine carrying that kind of fear inside you for four long years. I mean I just started discovering boys and I was hearing that I’d only have four years left to really discover them. Well, alright then. Discover them I would! I looked forward to entering high school. Lots and lots of new boys from other neighborhoods would be there, yay! More to pick from. Little did I know that my parents planned my destruction before the world was to end. In all their evil parenting ways they enrolled me in a Catholic High School. (Open mouth shock here) wait for it…An all GIRLS High School! WHAT? In four years the world was coming to an end and my loving parents (I think they secretly hated me) enrolled me in an all girls school. Did they prepare me for the shock of all shocks? Nope. They just stated the facts as they were and left me to deal with the horrific realization that I was going to die a virgin. UGH…

Fine, off to Notre Dame I went in my ugly uniform and let me tell you. I don’t care how much you roll up that skirt to make it short and somewhat appealing, it’s still ugly as hell. I would look at myself in the mirror on the back of my mothers door in her room and wonder how I’d attract a boy dressed this way? I can’t remember the color of that uniform, all I do remember was that it was ugly! YUCK. One time, well okay it was a few times I questioned my parents about their decision to send me, their beloved first daughter to an all girls Catholic High School and they said: “You’ll get a better education.” No matter how many times I asked, that was their answer. I could only shake my head in frustration and walk away mumbling to myself, “the world will end in three and a half years and they are worried about my future. What about boys?”

So, I’m a smart one, I was very spoiled when I was a child I got everything I wanted, if it had a price tag, it was mine. Well, I think like this: I tell them I want a new outfit or $50.00 to go to the mall and I get it. I’ll just use my whiney voice and convince them to enroll me in the neighborhood high school where all of my friends went. So, at the end of my freshman year I tell them this. “I’m not at all happy, I don’t have friends, and I don’t like the school. The sister’s are incredibly mean the kid’s are meaner. If I had to go back to that terrible school in that terrible neighborhood next year I was going to make your life hell. Imagine my shock when they said, “okay, you don’t have to go back to that school.” I was bouncing on the chair here, till they said, “we’re enrolling you in Mother Guerin instead.” I think I fell OFF the chair.

I was doomed. I had three more years locked up in prison and I was going to die a virgin. When I was a sophomore, or rather when I was enrolling in that ritzy high school to begin my second year, I actually asked the sister if there were any classes that allowed us girls to attend at the boys school next to ours or vice versa. I did ask with a smile and I did look at all cute and innocent until she looked over her glasses at my parents who told her, “no.” Have you ever seen those movies with the rich spoiled girls and they make those funny crunchy faces when something displeases them? Yep, I think they got that look from me. I was not allowed to take any classes with boys. Period. Lovely.

When I graduated in 1983 the world didn’t come to an end and I found loads of fun those three years I attended that school. I even spent a lot of time in detention because I just couldn’t seem to control myself sometimes.

There is one person from that time of my life that helped to hold me together through some tough times and though he didn’t know he was holding me together or what the circumstances were that caused me to need that help, he saved me. He was there and we’d developed a friendship unlike any I’ve ever had, even to this day. I loved him then and I love him now. Something good came out of those four years in a Catholic High School. I learned how to allow someone to know the real me, to care about me, and I in turn learned how to really care about someone beside myself. Oh the phone bills were HUGE but oh well, that’s what parents are for…

I learned to live for the now and not be afraid of what may or may not happen. I learned to take today for what it is and make the best of it and of everyone in your life. I learned how to openly love others and tell them this. If I need my friends, I am not afraid to go to them, and I want them to know that they never have to be afraid to come to me. My heart swells with love for my family and friends. Let’s not take another day for granted. Let’s tell each other how much we love each other, how much we appreciate each other. Now. Today. Because tomorrow may not come… Let’s not worry about 2012 or 2025. Let’s worry about the here and now…

INDI AUTHORS and BOOK REVIEWS

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 21:09:52 +0100

I wanted to take some time and talk about INDI authors, (Independent) and Book Reviews, and why some people are so afraid to pick a book up that's been self-published. Then question why some book reviewers are so afraid to review self-published books?

Granted, I've only been in this world a short time, since this past August if you want to get technical and I have seen and read so much on this very topic that I can recite it in my sleep. Before I considered myself a writer, I was a reader. I read almost anything I could get my little hands on. If the pages in between the shiny or dull covers held a story that I thought would interest me. I read it. Period. I never cared who published it, a publisher out of New York, London or by someone in their basement. I never paid attention to that "minor" detail.

In the author world that "minor" detail is anything but. I even found readers who consider a self-published book taboo, and shockingly enough, book reviewers. I can hear the big question now.

WHY?

Well, it's a long-winded answer, it's an answer that could go on and on, and it's an answer that's been answered over and over again.

Google it.

Once you have a book published, I don't care if it's traditionally published or self-published, you have to have that book reviewed. Why? Well, I guess it's to tell other potential readers if it's a good book or not. A review is used to get insight on what the book is about beyond the blurb on the covers.

YAY!

NAY!

Are we really going to take one person's review on a book to heart? Are we really going to trust that the person doing the review is in a good mood the day he/she does the review? Are we really sure that the reviewer really cares for the Genre you write in? This is just one person out of millions and get this: WE do CARE what that one person says! Of course every author wants to see their books get to the five star rating in the reviews. When a writer/author gets a five star review from that one person it's like they won an Oscar. If they see a three star they begin to worry that maybe the story wasn't good enough. That just maybe something should have been changed prior to publication. A three star can bring an author down for days. A five star will keep that author walking on cloud nine knowing he/she could do anything. That's just one five star rating.

So, how does one go about getting people to review your baby and be honest about it? You must go out there and look for these people and they are out there all over the Internet. Did you know some reviewers charge to review your book? Not only do you have to send them a hard copy, you have to send them money too. Then be prepared to wait, unless you want to pay extra to have them get to it sooner. I don't know about you, but paying up to a hundred dollars to have my book reviewed is simply out of the question, never mind paying extra to have it done sooner. OH, I almost forgot. They'd like to have an advanced reading copy. Please and Thank You.

I arrived to that point and I said forget it. I'm not going to dish out money I don't have to get my book reviewed. There must be reviewers out there who will do it for free, or for a free copy of the book. As I've said before. The Internet is useful for more than Facebook and Myspace. It didn't take me long to find people who would indeed review the book for free, or for a copy of the book you want them to review. They'd post the review on their blog site and even post it on Amazon.com and Goodreads. YAY!

Guess what?

Many of them will not review a self published book! Did I forget to mention, that there are some reviewers who charge and refuse to review self published books. Yet, they charge. I don't get it? Again, I arrived at the, oh forget it. The book will hopefully be seen going on a couple reviews I did manage to get from people who had bought the book. Now, as a reader I never thought about leaving a review for a book I had read. Why? I don't know. I just never thought about it. I didn't think it mattered.

WOW, I was mistaken.

Reviews matter.

I finally found someone through another reviewer who agreed to review my book, for a copy of the book. YAY. Now, I write in the suspense/thriller/drama/violent Genre. I went to an Erotica Reviewer and she accepted the challenge. Imagine that. How fantastic! I write deep, I push at you and challenge you not to care about the characters and their woes. I try to get your eyes wet, I try to pull at your heartstrings, and I try to make you mad. She met my challenge and awarded me FIVE stars! This from an experienced reviewer, a reviewer with a following and she posted this information on her blog. Talk about thrilled. I am.

If you'd like to read that review here's the link:

http://erotichorizon.blogspot.com/2009/11/review-river-of-tears-michele-l.html

I also was asked five questions about self-publishing by E.H. and the answers and comments are posted here:

Would You Read a Self-Published Book?

http://erotichorizon.blogspot.com/2009/11/discussion-point-would-you-read-self.html

This same reviewer is also putting on an INDI Author Reading Challenge for 2010. How exciting and how blessed the INDI authors to have someone like E.H. on their side. Her readers are just as excited.

I believe that once a door opens to you, more follow. I say this because today I received an email from a reviewer who asked to review my book after seeing it on a few different blogs. How exciting. OF course I said yes. I'll be shipping her book out next week.

So, why won't reviewers pay attention to self-published authors?

I'm thinking that'll change soon enough. If you had any idea of the authors who do self publish you'd be open mouthed. Give them a chance, yes the books are a little more expensive, but it's worth it. The author not only sees more of the profit, but they also keep full control over their own words.

Please: Support Your INDI authors so they can keep bringing you the stories you love to get lost in.

A Life's Journey with River of Tears

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 21:10:07 +0100

I truly believe the saying that you are your own worst critic.

If you've been reading my blogs in order you'll know that the last paragraph I wrote from the prior blog titled: A Life's Journey…River of Tears. You'll know it said:

My story was as good as I could get it. I was ready to share it for real this time. I was proud of it and I wanted people to read this story. I had a smile that warmed my heart. I did the best I could do. It was time to do something about it.

And I did…

I want to take a moment talking about, "My story was as good as I could get it." Then I want to emphasize my first sentence above: "I truly believe the saying that you are your own worst critic."

This could NOT be truer in every sense of the word.

River of Tears was NOT as good as I could get it and once I read it again after a month of "ignoring it," I realized it could be even better. So, yes I went back to work. Now it's very easy to over analyze something you've written, there's always that small nagging voice saying: "You can do that better." And it can and will get to the point of hurting what you've written. A saying of: "It'll never be good enough…" can slam into you and totally stop all creativity. This is known as not having confidence in yourself. I had a bout with this myself.

I did go back to work with River and I'm glad I did because it was during this phase that I added Caiden's story. I wanted to give the readers a taste of what this poor man endured in all his years of absence from his wife and children. In the early manuscripts, this was never mentioned and I always felt as if something was missing from that story. I mean to say it was a wonderful story before Caiden's voice was added but adding it, made the story that much stronger. I added more dimension all the way around and as I typed the last passages to that book and had to look through the tears that blurred my vision I knew then that I had done it.

Yes, the story needed another going over. Everytime something new is added it needs to be re-read and re-written to some degree. Also, one wants to be sure not to over analyze what's already been written. Now, it's said that a writer should have a barrage of people to read their works for and with them, to catch what the writer may have and probably did miss. Small things, like leaving out a he said or a she said, maybe even using to instead of too. You know the small things. Those trusted readers also point out plot holes, confusion in the story or maybe a sentence repeat.

Now, this is where things grew a little difficult for me. Most of the people I trust, and yes, trust-- is a big word when you're a writer. You can't just go to anyone and say: "Here, read this and get back to me." Or I should say that I can't just do that. I've heard the horror stories of stolen works. No thank you! So, most of the people I trust are family members, and even some of those scare me and get this-- most of them don't read. Friends, I do have a few friends I trust however, these that I do trust are busy people. They all work full-time jobs and have a family to tend to. They don't have the time to pay attention, or time to read or anything for that matter. I'm okay with it. I just wished there was one person who had time for me, the same way I make time for them. I did have a couple people read over it, never did get much input so I had to go outside my comfort zone and look for a couple people I know and trust on a networking site I belong to. I asked for 2 volunteers and low and behold, I had them. I sent them a copy of my manuscript and told them to get as mean as they could, don't hold anything back. This was the last revision before it headed off to the publisher I picked.

I chose two very different ladies out of the volunteers. One highly educated and the other a down to earth girl with no formal education. Both ends of the spectrum here. I want that book to appeal to all. They read it for me, gave me their suggestions and I went back to the manuscript and added what I thought needed added. As far as editing goes? I never had one. River of Tears has not been edited by a professional. I did the best I could on that front. I had an acclaimed author read the story as it is now and he gave it 5 stars! You can read the review on my web site. I was on cloud nine when I'd been given that review from him. He is an author I both admire and fear. He's articulate, educated, and honest. He holds nothing back when it comes to a review, yet he rewarded my River of Tears 5 stars! I can pick up a copy of my book and flip through it and see a few things that needed to be fixed but overall, it's pretty strong as it is.

So, back to where I was headed. I sent the revisions to my publisher and that was that. Now, as you know I chose to self publish this work for a few different reasons one of them being "A new writer almost stands no chance of being picked up at this time as the economy is very difficult." I seriously didn't want to wait ten years to see this book in print. Author Rights was another thing. I didn't want to lose that. There are several pros and cons going traditional as there are going the self publishing route. It's all up to you. I'm not saying I wouldn't go with a traditional publisher if I found one, but I am saying I will not do it if they wanted to change the plot up or to do something that would take away from it. Selfish? Yep, probably. But, that story is from my heart, my sweat and tears and years of writing. That's my baby. Well, one of them.

Now, I will say that I am searching for a traditional publisher for it. Why? Because it deserves what a publisher can do for it. I don't have the funds it takes to keep going, to get it out there, and to get it read. If I had the money to begin with, I'd have hired an editor and a marketer and all that goes with it. Not saying you don't do a fair amount of marketing even with a traditional publisher, but you do get seen. Here's the tough part. If a traditional publisher picks it up, and they decide to publish lets say 1500 copies to test the waters with a new writer they have the right to hold that book for X amount of years and never publish more than the initial 1500 copies.

Talk about a headache.

Writing is the easy part. Anything that comes after that is the hard part. I did find an amazing editor though and she's working with my Behind Blue Eyes series. YAY!!! Will I self publish that? Probably. But hey, I have an editor now. She's one I trust to give me the bad and the good. That's what every writer needs. Well, and peace to write and the ability to talk to yourself and answer as well….without people laughing at you…

A few quotes from other writers:

I'm not a very good writer, but I'm an excellent rewriter. ~James Michener

Being an author is like being in charge of your own personal insane asylum. ~Graycie Harmon

When something can be read without effort, great effort has gone into its writing. ~Enrique Jardiel Poncela