I truly believe the saying that you are your own worst critic.  

If you've been reading my blogs in order you'll know that the last paragraph I wrote from the prior blog titled: A Life's Journey…River of Tears. You'll know it said:

My story was as good as I could get it. I was ready to share it for real this time. I was proud of it and I wanted people to read this story. I had a smile that warmed my heart. I did the best I could do. It was time to do something about it. 

And I did… 

I want to take a moment talking about, "My story was as good as I could get it." Then I want to emphasize my first sentence above: "I truly believe the saying that you are your own worst critic."

This could NOT be truer in every sense of the word.  

River of Tears was NOT as good as I could get it and once I read it again after a month of "ignoring it," I realized it could be even better. So, yes I went back to work. Now it's very easy to over analyze something you've written, there's always that small nagging voice saying: "You can do that better." And it can and will get to the point of hurting what you've written. A saying of: "It'll never be good enough…"  can slam into you and totally stop all creativity. This is known as not having confidence in yourself. I had a bout with this myself.  

I did go back to work with River and I'm glad I did because it was during this phase that I added Caiden's story. I wanted to give the readers a taste of what this poor man endured in all his years of absence from his wife and children. In the early manuscripts, this was never mentioned and I always felt as if something was missing from that story. I mean to say it was a wonderful story before Caiden's voice was added but adding it, made the story that much stronger. I added more dimension all the way around and as I typed the last passages to that book and had to look through the tears that blurred my vision I knew then that I had done it. 

Yes, the story needed another going over. Everytime something new is added it needs to be re-read and re-written to some degree. Also, one wants to be sure not to over analyze what's already been written. Now, it's said that a writer should have a barrage of people to read their works for and with them, to catch what the writer may have and probably did miss. Small things, like leaving out a he said or a she said, maybe even using to instead of too. You know the small things. Those trusted readers also point out plot holes, confusion in the story or maybe a sentence repeat.  

Now, this is where things grew a little difficult for me. Most of the people I trust, and yes, trust-- is a big word when you're a writer. You can't just go to anyone and say: "Here, read this and get back to me." Or I should say that I can't just do that. I've heard the horror stories of stolen works. No thank you! So, most of the people I trust are family members, and even some of those scare me and get this-- most of them don't read. Friends, I do have a few friends I trust however, these that I do trust are busy people. They all work full-time jobs and have a family to tend to. They don't have the time to pay attention, or time to read or anything for that matter. I'm okay with it. I just wished there was one person who had time for me, the same way I make time for them. I did have a couple people read over it, never did get much input so I had to go outside my comfort zone and look for a couple people I know and trust on a networking site I belong to. I asked for 2 volunteers and low and behold, I had them. I sent them a copy of my manuscript and told them to get as mean as they could, don't hold anything back. This was the last revision before it headed off to the publisher I picked. 

I chose two very different ladies out of the volunteers. One highly educated and the other a down to earth girl with no formal education. Both ends of the spectrum here. I want that book to appeal to all. They read it for me, gave me their suggestions and I went back to the manuscript and added what I thought needed added. As far as editing goes? I never had one. River of Tears has not been edited by a professional. I did the best I could on that front. I had an acclaimed author read the story as it is now and he gave it 5 stars! You can read the review on my web site. I was on cloud nine when I'd been given that review from him. He is an author I both admire and fear. He's articulate, educated, and honest. He holds nothing back when it comes to a review, yet he rewarded my River of Tears 5 stars! I can pick up a copy of my book and flip through it and see a few things that needed to be fixed but overall, it's pretty strong as it is.  

So, back to where I was headed. I sent the revisions to my publisher and that was that. Now, as you know I chose to self publish this work for a few different reasons one of them being "A new writer almost stands no chance of being picked up at this time as the economy is very difficult." I seriously didn't want to wait ten years to see this book in print. Author Rights was another thing. I didn't want to lose that. There are several pros and cons going traditional as there are going the self publishing route. It's all up to you. I'm not saying I wouldn't go with a traditional publisher if I found one, but I am saying I will not do it if they wanted to change the plot up or to do something that would take away from it. Selfish? Yep, probably. But, that story is from my heart, my sweat and tears and years of writing. That's my baby. Well, one of them.  

Now, I will say that I am searching for a traditional publisher for it. Why? Because it deserves what a publisher can do for it. I don't have the funds it takes to keep going, to get it out there, and to get it read. If I had the money to begin with, I'd have hired an editor and a marketer and all that goes with it. Not saying you don't do a fair amount of marketing even with a traditional publisher, but you do get seen. Here's the tough part. If a traditional publisher picks it up, and they decide to publish lets say 1500 copies to test the waters with a new writer they have the right to hold that book for X amount of years and never publish more than the initial 1500 copies.  

Talk about a headache. 

Writing is the easy part. Anything that comes after that is the hard part. I did find an amazing editor though and she's working with my Behind Blue Eyes series. YAY!!! Will I self publish that? Probably. But hey, I have an editor now. She's one I trust to give me the bad and the good. That's what every writer needs. Well, and peace to write and the ability to talk to yourself and answer as well….without people laughing at you… 
 
 
 

A few quotes from other writers:  
 

I'm not a very good writer, but I'm an excellent rewriter. ~James Michener 

Being an author is like being in charge of your own personal insane asylum. ~Graycie Harmon 

When something can be read without effort, great effort has gone into its writing. ~Enrique Jardiel Poncela